14 February 2018

What is love?


Seeing as it's Valentines day, (something that we don't really actually celebrate!) I thought I'd write a little about my own little love story.

It's not wildly romantic, it's not particularly full of fireworks, or exotic trips or holidays, or grand gestures or extravagance. What it is, is safe, comforting and reliable. It's your best friend being by your side.

When Rob and I met, on one drunken winters night in the local club in Newport (see bursting with romance!) things didn't explode straight away. In fact it took a few months of awkwardly bumping into each other and hanging out a little more before we finally realised that hey actually you're really pretty great. We went on a few actual dates (something that I've not ever really done!) and it just grew from there, but once it got going then it just felt right, like everything had slotted into place and this was all it was meant to be. We travelled around Wales in my little car, him helping me on photography shoots, finding wild swimming places, trips to a&e with broken noses etc. We went on dates, we hung out, he visited me at work and sat in the old man pub to keep me company. It all just felt right, and overwhelmingly comfortable. It's like as soon as we found each other I just breathed a huge sigh of relief, like my days of heartbreak were over and that this was it. I'd managed to find what I'd been looking for.

Then a few short months after that there was a big explosion, when we found out I was pregnant. It wasn't ideal, of course, both of us were just coming to the end of our degrees, had no jobs or places to live. We were young (me 22 and him 20) but somehow or other after so much talking and deliberating we decided that actually maybe, just maybe we could make a go of it. To be a family. Writing that down seems crazy, to look back from the other side and see how young we were, how little we knew what our lives would be like. But even though it's not what we planned we made it work, and we've been making it work ever since.


I'm so incredibly proud of what we've achieved as a couple and a family. I often wonder what things would have been like had we not got pregnant, where our lives would be now, but there's not much point is there? We're here because we chose to be here.

We've had some amazing times, got married, have lived in seven different houses together and of course welcomed two children into the world. We bicker and argue like the best old married couples around, I probably don't show my love or affection very often, we're always tired, there are so many things that frustrate me daily (and vice versa I'm sure!) but we are here, together, and we are strong.


Through all the things that have happened to us; being young parents, job changes, moving house, the miscarriage, then Rohan there has always been us. To know that even in the saddest, hardest moments that there is someone else who feels the same as you do, who is in the exact same boat, by your side experiencing it all too, makes it all ok. That's why I don't need any of the other things, because I know that when things are tough (and man have they been tough) that we are strong. That we can overcome so many things that have been thrown at us and we can survive and persevere. That we can still make each other laugh at the end of the day. We can still cuddle and make up after big arguments, that we can rely on that person to be there, holding my hand in hospital. To adapt and grow with all the changes and still carry on the journey together.


So we may not have had all the time in our twenties to live our lives just as us, things are hard, but we have each other and that is enough. Oh and our mutual love of pizza, that helps.


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