06 February 2016

Four weeks

Oh Rohan, what a journey we've been on already. 

I know I haven't actually been around on the blog that much, but those who follow me on Instagram will have seen my updates on our progress. But I just wanted to use this space here to talk a little more about how the journey has been for us, if I can. 
So Rohan is four weeks old. It's flown by, I can't quite believe that those newborn days are almost over and that he's growing and changing so fast. I can't even quite remember what those first days and weeks were like. We've been through such an up and down journey already and I know that it will continue to be like that for a long time.

I don't know really where to start with it all, my emotions go all over the place regularly and sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with it all and sometimes not at all. For the most part it's the waiting and not knowing that is killing me. I'm someone who likes to plan and know to some degree what is going to happen in the near future (I know you can never actually know) and all this uncertainty seems like too much. I feel as though I'm putting huge amounts of pressure on myself and the idea that going home will magically make everything better, and so therefore every step back feels like a huge blow and further away from my goal. In reality we don't know when we're going to get home, or what it will even be like when we do. I don't think everything will be magically normal, and that Rohan will be a 'normal' baby when we do, but somehow that's what I've been aiming for. When we're at the hospital just spending time with Rohan everything seems relatively ok, we are enjoying getting to know him, becoming more confident in caring for him and of course falling more in love each day. But when we meet with the doctors it usually all sinks in a little, and my goals and hopes are broken and it feels like I have to start all over again, accepting and learning how to deal with it all. Mainly I just need to try and stay in the present, try and not put too much pressure on myself or the idea of getting home and just taking things day by day.

03 February 2016

Theo's hospital entertainment

It's been four weeks since we've been travelling back and forth to hospital everyday, and even though Theo doesn't visit every day we've put together a little activity bag for him whilst he's there, because let's face it, hospitals are pretty boring for children after about the first half an hour.

Theo does love to look at and hold Rohan, but for a five year old that can only be entertaining for so long. There is a tv in our ward, but with all the other noises and commotion going on it can sometimes get too much to have it on too, as well as not wanting to just let him sit in front of it for ages! So we made a little collection of items to bring in and a keep at hospital to keep him entertained. It's mainly books and activities, to do together to keep him occupied and quiet! 
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