It's that time of year again where my feet are itchy and my legs are restless. I've been cooped up for too long and I need to run and escape somewhere. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I want something more to make me get out of bed in the morning, an adventure and some excitement rather than another day running its course, rolling into the next. Not that Theo's face and morning cuddles aren't something worth getting up for, they are, but sometimes selfishly sometimes I want more.
I feel terrible saying that. I feel like having a child and getting to spend all my days with him should be enough and I should feel very lucky that I can do this. Which I do of course, but sometimes there is a nagging feeling that I should be doing something more. I know it's because we're coming to the end of winter, and Spring has been teasing us with glimpses of warmer, longer days spent outside but I'm too impatient! I want it now. I want to be able to pack up a bag or the car today and head out on a real adventure.
When I was at University I spent a lot of time travelling around Wales for shoots or to help out my friend Sarah on hers. We would pack up our trusty cars, either Rennie or Penelope, pick up some sweets for the journey and make playlists. With a road map and some supplies we would begin our adventures to unknown places, meeting new characters and getting ourselves into some weird and wonderful situations...we have some stories to tell!
We spent a lot of time together, driving through beautiful scenery, talking through breakups and listening to great music. It was like therapy, a release. I often went on trips by myself too, to shoots or sometimes just to go. Sometimes there is nothing better than jumping in the car to escape to the countryside and think. Wales has some majestic power to be able to make all your problems disappear as you would never know what beautiful scene lay just around the corner that would take your breathe away.
I'm not really sure what the meaning of this post is, but sometimes its therapeutic to look back at the life I used to live, to remember how I felt and how things have changed. Sometimes I long to be back at these times, when all the troubles I had were from stupid boys and Uni deadlines. Where I was free to travel when and where I wanted, to be working on projects and practicing my art. But mainly I'm just glad I managed to experience them in the first place, to have a friend by my side to share it with and be thanlful that I took the chances.
I know I can find the same inspiration today, and there are so many adventures and trips waiting to happen. I just need to get out of the winter slump, to blow away the cobwebs and show Theo the same wonder that we experienced. And that's what makes me happy to be living in the here and now, knowing that I have someone I can share and show all this to, to see the excitement through their eyes and not just my own. However much I miss being a careless twenty-ish year old, I know that if I went back now I would long to be where I am today. I don't think I will ever loose my wanderlusting tendencies, I just need to learn to channel them in a different way, and hopefully inspire the same in Theo.