22 September 2011

The pinky promise

This week, I guess because of the teething and the lack of sleep, I feel sad to admit that Rob and I have been arguing more, and I don't really feel like I've seen him properly recently, or that we've had any nice adventures together.

There is this constant battle of who is more tired, and we have assumed stereotypical roles...me the nagger and him, well perhaps someone who needs a little promting.

But this is silly, because in reality we are well balanced and don't need to become these people. We have worked out with speaking how to balance domestic life and looking after the baby. And if I do say so myself, I think we are doing a pretty good darn job with the babe...because he is wonderful (teething tantrums aside)

Rob does so much for us, and works incredibly hard, and unlike lots of other people doesn't stop working when he gets home. And in reality I wouldn't change him for the world.

This thought struck me early this morning, as I lay awake feeding Theo. In all my previous relationships I have always felt that I knew they would end, or there was something I would want to change about them, or us, or myself to make it right. It would be a battle, and deep down even though I felt 'love' it was never truely what I feel now. When I think of Rob I am filled with a huge sense of relief. Relief that I've found him, and that there is not one thing I would change about him, or our lives. Relief that I will not have to look for another partner again, and relief that there will be someone who will come home and give me a hug. Last night I told him of my worries and my fears that we had been arguing more lately, and he simply shrugged and said it was just the way it is sometimes, and we are both under lots of stress. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Not that there were things that we drastically needed to change, but just that it's ok, we'll get through it, and we'll still be there for each other at the end of it all. Nothing silenced my worrying heart better than that.

When I think of Rob when I'm alone, I just feel so proud. What a wonderful person he really is, and even though our story hasn't been wildly romantic, it's just fitted, worked and made sense. And after all we have produced a beautiful thing, and that's a pretty good testament to our love story.

In a few weeks Rob will turn 23. To think he has achieved so much and is the strong, responsible, capable of so much loving person he is at the age of 22, makes me love him all the more.

When we eventually get married, I know it will be the best most wonderful feeling, to have it confirmed that we will always be there for each other. And we'll be sure to pinky promise that one.


Written listening to this:


(by the way Fionn, it's good to have you back)

1 comment :

  1. Oops you made me do a little cry. We are going through immense house selling/buying stress and we have been 'disagreeing' constantly - from what to have for dinner to what house to buy. Every now and then it's worth just taking a step back and realising how good life is the majority of the time. xx

    PS: love that photo at the end :)

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