27 August 2011

For Theodore

This week I've had some realisations. Mainly they have come from sitting watching the back of Theo's head as he sits independently playing with his toys, or watching him stuff great amounts of food into his mouth (face).

The first is that I can't actually believe that we created him. This beautiful, funny, sweet amazing baby, we made him. Back when we found out I was pregnant, I can still remember the week spent agonizing, conferring with friends and family members, and finally fully understanding the weight of our predicament. I can clearly recall the moment Rob and I, teary eyed, made a pinky promise that we would do this, that we would stick by each other and have a baby. I remember those moments when I look at Theo, we made that decision, and we made Theo. It breaks my heart to think of what things would have been like if we had made to opposite choice. I can't imagine a world without Theo.  I will not imagine a world without him, because we made the right choice. Deep down we knew it was the right choice, and over a year on we are constantly reminded that it was the right choice.

The other thing that I've come to realise is that Theo is part of our family. That sounds silly because he has always been a part of our family, ever since he was brought into this world, but now he seems to have a place of his own in it. For so long he has been our baby that went everywhere with us and did what we did somehow attached to us and going along for the ride. But watching him sitting by himself, grabbing what he wants and even feeding himself, makes me realise that he is quickly growing more and more independent, and more importantly, independent from me. He feels like his own person now, and the third member of our family. He is included in our daily tasks, and plans are made around him and often for him. I'm so happy that he is becoming his own person, but sad that he is no longer so dependent on me.

I don't say it much in words on here, but hopefully I show it, but I love that little boy more than words, and sometimes can't believe our luck at creating such an incredible human being. 

2 comments :

  1. What a lovely post. I remember making that same decision and it was such an immense moment. I love how they are such proper little people now. I spend more time than ever before just sitting with little M on her playmat and letting her pull my hair and laugh as she crawls over me. These babies are just more amazing by the minute xxWhat a lovely post. I remember making that same decision and it was such an immense moment. I love how they are such proper little people now. I spend more time than ever before just sitting with little M on her playmat and letting her pull my hair and laugh as she crawls over me. These babies are just more amazing by the minute xx

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  2. Not quite the same, but I often think how lucky we are that we decided to try for a baby when we did as if it had been any different it wouldn't have been Becca, and she is simply amazing. Amazing. This is an amazing time, watching them change and learn and grow at a terrific rate.

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