29 July 2011


hi just a very quick post to show you how grown up Theo is, today he had his first go on a swing, by himself! He didn't stay in it for long, but had a little swing and seemed to enjoy it quite a lot!

In other news I have been reading the baby led weaning book, kindly lent to me by Janet. It's really reassuring and makes so much sense, I don't see why more people don't follow BLW weaning, but each to their own I guess! But anyone thinking about it or planning to I seriously recommend reading it.

That's all for now, sorry for such a short post, will be back soon!

27 July 2011

6 months!

So Theo is 6 months today! happy half birthday my sweet little boy. I can't really believe that it was 6 months ago that he finally joined us. It has gone so quickly, and he has changed so much, but I have loved every minute of it. A lot of it has been hard, but he makes up for it!

I have loved seeing him learn and develop, and see his little character emerge. It's weird to think that he was just this tiny thing that didn't do much other than sleep and feed, to the strong wiggling happy clever thing he is today!

You have probably seen these photos before, but it's nice to look back. I can't really believe that, even though it has gone quickly, that Theo has only been in our lives for 6 months. It's such a short space of time, but he has filled and taken over our lives so much (in a good way) that it doesn't seem like it has ever been different. I wouldn't change him or anything that has happened for anything! Motherhood was sort of thrust upon me, and before he was created I hadn't really thought about having babies that much, or didn't really know that much about them, or really want to know that much to be honest! But how quickly things change huh?

So in other news, bang on 6 months Theo has a little tooth appearing on the bottom, we discovered it in tesco's last night. It's strange because he hasn't really been showing any teething signs, which is good, but I fear they made be just around the corner! It's exciting, but also makes me sad (which is silly) but it makes me feel like that's the end of him being a little baby, and he's on his way to becoming a proper little boy. No more big gummy smiles for me!

Today we went back to Noah's ark zoo for a little day trip, and luckily Rob had the day off so he could enjoy it with us. It was such a lovely sunny day too, which was prefect! Theo LOVES animals! When we went to the bit where you can pet some of the animals such as donkeys, horses and llamas he got really excited. He had a little stroke of a donkey and it made him laugh so much! It's so sweet to see. Also when we were looking at a barn owl, it kept flying up in front of us and this made him laugh loads too! I love that he is really excited by animals!

Here is a nice family portrait, one of very few of us all together I think!

We have been trying to keep up with introducing new foods, but I'm not sure how much to introduce and how quickly. Also since Theo was a tiny baby he has been a really sicky one, which means most of the times when he gags when eating food, which is fairly normal with blw, he is sick. He doesn't seem to be bothered by it, and just carries on eating, but I'm not sure that it's completely normal that he is sick that much. Yesterday he tried spaghetti, which he just played with really!

This is quite a long post, so I think I will leave it there. It has been a busy old week and I can barely remember what we have been up to!

25 July 2011

A decision (sort of) made

So as you all know the topic of going back to work has been a big (stressful) one with me. I don't really have a job to go back to, and don't have a nursery place sort out for Theo. I have been totally unsure about what to do, and recently have been getting upset at the thought of leaving my baby in the hands of someone else.

So I think I have decided not to go back to work, just yet. The reasoning behind this, is well mainly that I don't want to, but if I were to go back to work and make enough money to cover nursery fees and still make money on top of that, I would have to go back for nearly full time. There is no way I feel comfortable about leaving my 7 and a half month old baby (what he will be when my maternity leave runs out) for nearly full time hours every week. Plus he will be pretty much dependent on me for feeds, as weaning is going to take a while. So I would have to spend most of my free time pumping to make sure he had enough food for the days, regardless of the fact he won't take a bottle anyway, so not sure how that would work out anyway.

It would then mean that I was going back to work, putting Theo into full time care, all for the sake of having a bit more money. With Theo still not sleeping well at night, waking up 3 or 4 times a night, I don't know where I would get the energy to work 8 hours a day, then come home and pump, then look after and spend time with Theo and Rob. I think I would have to turn into superwomen.

Like I said before, if I had a definite job to go back to, with regular hours, and a job I actually enjoyed, then it might be more of an option, but for now, there is no job or any of the above.

So as a solution to the money side, I think I'm going to try and open an online shop, selling 'vintage' items of clothes (hopefully) and perhaps aimed towards the pregnant and post-natal market...possible?..we will see? But then I can register myself as self employed. Hopefully I will make some money from the shop, that would be the DREAM. But we'll take it as is comes really.

So that's the plan. If anyone has any tips and advice please PLEASE offer it, as this is a scary decision, and will mean probably more of a struggle with money, but hopefully it will be ok, with a little help. Or you know if anyone wants to pay me to write my blog and winge about things, that would be great...thanks. ( never going to happen)

Will do an update about other things soon! I promise!

21 July 2011

The engagement

Well, for those of you who have seen me in real life, follow me on instagram/twitter and are friends with me on facebook, this will already be old news, but for those who don't, Rob and I got engaged whilst on holiday!

I didn't say anything before, as I had to get the ring re-sized when we got home, so it didn't really feel official until yesterday when we got the ring back. That's weird isn't it? That you need a ring, but now I can wear it and every time I look down at it I'm reminded of the engagement, and of Rob.

Soooo I'm guessing you would all like to hear about how it happened?

Well we had talked a little about engagement before, and both of us thought it would be a nice step to take, and make our family a little more rounded and together. Once we stopped by a jewelers window and Rob asked me what sort of rings I liked...so I knew something might be around the corner. A few weeks before we went away Rob was acting suspiciously, and to be honest is pretty crap at covering things up, so I pretty much figured out that he had gone to find a ring.

I thought to myself that if he was going to do it anywhere, he would do it on holiday. He asked my sister whether she could watch Theo for a few hours one evening so we could go out for dinner. Uh-oooh, I think I guessed that it would happen then if at all! So I counted the days down, and soon we were having dinner. I got a bit panicky as to whether he was actually going to do it or not, because I had packed all the bags and hadn't obviously seen a ring box, and Rob had got dressed for going out in the evening in the same room as me, so I didn't see him get a ring or anything...I thought maybe he's not going to do it, and I've been horribly off the mark with my speculating, and was a little disappointed, which was a good sign!

After dinner Rob asked if I wanted to walk to the beach, so we did, and the closer and closer we got the more nervous he got! I sat down on a bench looking over the beach and sea and Rob dithered behind me. I made him sit down next to me and we chatted for a while. Then he suddenly got really nervous and said to me 'I've got something for you'. He then pulled out the ring and showed it to me. I made it hard for him and teasing him said 'oh what's that for, what does it mean...' until he said 'one day will you marry me'

I said yes of course! I'm glad he didn't get down on one knee, I'm not a fan of grand romantic gestures, and I like the way he did it, it was sweet, sincere and unconventional. After was really nice, we had a kiss and a cuddle, and I got emotional and so did he.

The main thing for me was that I was totally overwhelmed about that fact that someone was in front of me saying that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me. That they loved me that much, with all my good and bad points to want to be with me. It's such a long long way from where I thought I might be a few years ago! I really can't believe I have found Rob, and we have the best little family.

My life has changed so much in the past 18 months, but I can't believe how happy I am! As long as Rob is by my side I can't imagine anything being too tough or unbearable. I love so much about him, and love that fact that we just fit together without trying. Things just seem to work out together without having to talk about it. Sometimes I don't even think about the fact that we haven't been together for that long, it seems like we've been together for a long while. Mainly it just feels like we fit, and most of the time I don't have to think about how the relationship works, or why we are together, because it just does, and we are.

So there, one day we will get married. I don't want to rush it, and we are in no hurry. (But I am excited that one day in the future we will have a wedding!)


So this is the ring. It's lovely and I adore it!  Rob has good taste. It's an amethyst stone with diamonds around the sides. It's from the 1920s, perfect. 

18 July 2011

A catch up, a look back

So yesterday was my blogs first birthday. In a few days it will be a year since we met the little baby for the first time at the scan. A year?!

That was the day when it all became more real. There was something there, a heartbeat and a swirling kicking little creature swimming around inside my belly. Today that creature is lying next to me on the bed, napping away. He is rapidly approaching 6 months, half a year of true outside human existence...what madness! He has grown so so much. I looked back over photos of the first few weeks of his life today, and I can't really believe how quickly it has gone. I'd forgotten some of the things he used to do, like sleep on my chest, and make little fake sneeze noises instead of actually sneezing. His movements were slower and his eyes half open. Soon I will probably forget the things he is doing now, like slapping his arms about, smacking his lips together and sucking his toes...it all goes so quickly!

I can't believe a year ago I was starting this journey. I had all of these unknown experiences ahead of me, and had no idea how Theo would turn out. I didn't even know if Theo was a he, or what he would look like...I just can't believe in that time I grew a beautiful baby, who is perfect in everyway!

Sorry for the soppyness, but some days it gets all a bit overwhelming that such a lot has happened in such a short space of time. I really can not believe where I am today, and how happy I could be. I'm glad that we can't see into the future, because it would ruin the surprise of all the amazing and unexpected things that come your way. I really am very thankful for all that has happened. It hasn't been an easy year, we've worked horribly hard and I've been exhausted for most of it, but I wouldn't change any of it. Not living with my mum, not moving to Bristol, not moving flats and especially not having Theo, it's all perfect and meant to be. And I'm thankful for all the help and support we've received from dear family and friends (old and new!)

Anyway, that's enough of that babbling wetness...time for some updates!

So I sort of didn't finish the end of our holiday did I? The end was good, but very tiring. I think 2 weeks away in a big city, in the heat was too much for us. It was all very over whelming. But I had a nice time, but perhaps next holiday we will spend a week by a pool somewhere!

We went adventuring to a science museum high up in the hills of Barcelona, which was great as I had never seen that part before and it was amazing! We then walked around Gracia and looked at nice baby shops, which were open for once! (every time we go to Gracia we seem to go at the wrong times, when everything is closed!)Theo got bought a lovely new toy from his aunty: Pirate bill!

science museum

The next day was our last full day. We went for a wander around El Borne for a few hours and had epically big burgers...followed by milkshakes! In the afternoon we met with Borjas mum again, who wanted to see Theo...she loves babies!

Soon enough it was Wednesday evening, and time to leave for the airport! I was glad to be going home away from the noise and the heat, but sad to leave my sister. We don't see each other enough, and it is always quite intense, trying to do everything and spend time with each other in such a condensed period of time...trying to convince her to move back to England! I would love to have my sister live in the same city as me, well both my sisters, to see all the time and go and do nice things with.

Anyway, we said our goodbyes, and waited for our plane. Pirate Bill entertained Theo quite well...

Theo was so good on the plane. He charmed a few ladies, then just before take off he fed, then slept for the whole flight, then fed again as we landed. Perfect! He was fine on the way home too, even though it was gone one when we arrived home! It was so lovely to get home to our little flat. It felt all homely and cosy and ours. I had such a good nights sleep in my own bed, under my duvet all snuggled up!

The next day we rushed around doing errands and food shopping, busy busy busy. We went to check out this venue for a potential naming day for Theo (more on that to come!), which has beautiful gardens, and Theo decided he could sit up un-aided for a good couple of minutes! It was great to see!

What a sweet clever boy! Since then it's been back to business with meeting up with my friends and catching up, and spending the weekend mostly alone, staying inside avoiding the rain. But it's been relaxing!

I tried Theo with some puree the other day as we had some in the house that my mum got me. I thought it wouldn't hurt just to try a little bit, and Theo seemed to enjoy it. He grabbed hold of the spoon and fed himself with it! Probably more to chew on the spoon, but it guess it's better than nothing! It seemed to go down a bit better than the other foods, and no gagging, which I guessed would happen as there are no lumps. I think its good to experiment with different textures and tastes anyway, and he still played with it and got very messy, and i didn't force him to eat it, he was grabbing for it himself!

Anyway, so it's been an exciting, fun, tiring couple of weeks, but I'm glad to be home and back to our usual routine!

wowzers this is a long post! Thanks Theo for napping through the whole thing! I like this new napping a lot...

17 July 2011

happy birthday!

I just realised that it's one year since I started this blog!                          

I'm very glad I did. As i wrote in the mummy blogs post, I had no idea about the whole world of baby blogging, and the help and support they provide.  This space has been an excellent way to share my fears and questions about being a mum, and I've received loads of help and feed b ackso far.

It' s also been a place where my family and friends can keep up with baby life, even though I find it strange when people tell me they read my blog. It makes me suddenly feel very conscious of what I'm writing,which is silly anyway because I am writing on the internet!

Anyway happy birthday to my blog, I hope I keep it up for another year! I do really love writing it! And the journey it has taken has been amazing! As when I was pregnant I always imagined writing the birth post, and finally introducing Theo to the blog world...now I look forward to writing posts about his first steps and his first birthday etc!                                   

 what fun!                                       

ps i hope there's cake later

16 July 2011

Not a nice thought...

I just had a horrible realisation...

Tonight as I was feeding Theo and putting him to bed, I realised that it is nearly the end of July, which means it will be August soon, which means it will be a month until my maternity leave is over, which means I will have to go back to work. Aside from all the problems of me going back to work (if I even can go back to work at my old job, or finding a new job, nursery business), the thought of leaving Theo in a month and a half and not spending all day everyday with him scares me silly.

He is still so young, and I can't imagine anyone looking after him who isn't me. I sort of just forgot about it, and it was always this far away time that I would come to at some point. Now that point is coming nearer I don't think I want to deal with it at all.

Since I don't have a 'career' I really am not looking forward to going back to work. It's not something I'm interested in, and it doesn't feel like me. Staying at home with my baby is something I'm interested in and that feels right to me. But I know it's probably not really possible for me, and we live in a far from ideal world. Just September is so close, maybe if it was November or December that would be better, Theo would be older and not so dependent on me.

I wish I had some grand plan, I wish that I could find out what I really want to do with myself, and I wish it involved being able to work from home.

I can't leave my baby.

13 July 2011

Mummy blogs

Before I started this blog, well before I became pregnant in fact, I had no interest in babies at all. Not that I hated babies, just they didn't really come into my life that much, and I knew nothing about the extensive world that exists surrounding them.

Now since writing the blog (and having Theo obvs) and using apps such as instagram and twitter, my life is full of babies! I read about and see pictures of other peoples babies everyday. I'm learning all the time about different gadgets and equipment, the pros and cons of varying parenting methods and the different stages babies go through etc etc...it's a fascinating world that I would have never known about unless I'd had a baby. And to be honest it consumes most of my time! Well time away from the baby and Rob!

So the purpose of this post is to share some of the blogs I regularly read and find helpful and inspiring!

Firstly there are the blogs that I have the guts to comment on and the ladies that I speak to:

The lovely Janet's blog...I started reading this when I was pregnant,  as Janet was about a month ahead of me. Hers was the first blog I read where I felt lots of similarities to my own situation, and that really helped! Since then she has helped me feel a lot more confident about my parenting skills, and constantly provides me with helpful information and tips!

Next is Fritha's, who is just going through her pregnancy journey in blog land! I have had the pleasure of meeting with this lovely lady in person, and was really good to meet and talk about baby things, as again our viewpoints and situations are quite similar!

Next is the squeaky baby blog, who has also always offered kind words of help!

Then there is Pheobe's blog..who has a sweet little boy with the same name!

Also a new blog to me is ephemeraldigest a Bristol mumma who I hope to meet with sometime soon!

So that's all for the people I actually speak to. I need to get better at commenting on blogs, but somehow American blogs scare me! I find it easier to comment on English blogs...that's strange right? But I follow a lot of lovely ladies on instagram and comment on there, so here are a few of them!


If anyone else has any favourite blogs to follow then please share! Hope I haven't missed anyone!

There are many other blogs that I follow that aren't baby related that are also really inspiring and interesting. Perhaps I should do another post featuring those!

EDIT just added a few more i remembered!

11 July 2011

Avocado baby

Did anyone else used to read the Avocado baby? I loved that book!

Anyways, here are some lovely pictures of Theo smeared and covered in avocado. There are probably lots that are the same, but that doesn't matter (well to me anyway, I never get bored of looking at him) and it is very funny and sweet..

He doesn't do so well with the bigger chunks, he holds them and puts them in his mouth, but hasn't worked out how to chew yet. He gags quite a lot and sometimes is a bit sick, so I don't try and give him too much to try and hold. We were having chilli for dinner anyway, so I had mushed up some avocado for us, so I just put this on his tray or in his hands and he seemed to get on quite well with this, hopefully even ate some. He seems to love tasting new things though, and is really interested! I can't wait until he is six months and we can try other foods such as spaghetti and toast and proper finger foods...

I know this is probably not the way I should be doing baby led weaning, because sometimes I am feeding him, and it is mushy, but it doesn't matter to me, I was never going to follow it strictly and at least we are having fun playing and experimenting!

Anyway here are some photos..

he was getting pretty tired by the end and was rubbing his eyes, hence all the food in his eyebrows and eyelashes!

I like this food business, but I think I will be sad when I takes over from breastfeeding, I mostly really enjoy feeding, and love that time that we have together when he is feeding.
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