29 April 2011

Royal times

hii! I hope everyone has enjoyed the royal wedding day! I wanted to watch it, but I wasn't hugely excited over the whole thing. I don't hate the Royals at all, I think they are quite an important part of our society, and I think they are quite lovable really! But anyway I'm glad we have them, and the history behind them.

Anyway it ended up that I didn't have any plans at all. I was going to go up to my mums who was going to a country estate for a big royal wedding party, it sounded really nice, but I thought it would be too expensive to drive up there and back. I thought I was going to see one of my friends, but that fell through at the last minute. I wish I had gone up to my mums now, as I think I would of had a really nice day. In the end though it was just Theo and I. I had fun watching it, it was made a bit more entertaining by twitter, and I didn't feel so alone with that, which is a bit sad to say! But after it was all over on the telly I felt like I really wanted to be around other people and celebrate and be somewhere with a good atmosphere, but everyone I know was busy doing there own thing. The point is, is that I don't actually know that many people in Bristol. Most of the people I do know all have lots of other friends and family here, so most of the time have other plans. It makes me quite sad sometimes when I realise I don't have that many close friends with, well if any, who I know I could just call up and always hang out with. I guess it's just my choice of where I live and of having a baby, that makes my lifestyle different from other peoples. Once again I just wish my family lived closer, or I lived closer to then. It's hard, and now that we are getting more settled in Bristol I know it might stay that way...


anyway here is a photo of my morning! My little fatty! Oh yeh, we got him weighed on Tuesday and he weighs 15lb 1...what a monster...so he's still firmly on the 75th percentile!

Also on Tuesday, we decided to get out of the city, and after a bit of deliberating we didn't go to far, but went to Aston Court. We had a lovely picnic and walk about. I think it was strange for Rob because I was seeing all these things for the first time, but he has been going there since he was Theo's age probably, so already has so many memories. But it's nice to create new memories, with our own little family.




I like making the most of Rob's days off and doing nice things together, I beats just spending the day inside..

So some new developments with Theo are that he has learnt how to half roll over. He can roll from his back to his side. I know it's not a full roll over, and it's only half way there to that next stage, but it is exciting to me. I can't believe how much he is changing and growing...sometimes I think he looks so much older than he actually is...



 Theo has had a cold this week, which means he has been pretty unsettled in the night, meaning that I haven't been getting much sleep, which means I've now got a cold and feeling a bit rough too. But in the days he has been lovely and smiley and chatty..so I can't really complain...

25 April 2011

Easter

Hiya, I hope everyone had a lovely easter weekend! I've never taken too much notice of Easter weekend, mainly because I'm not Christian and the whole story doesn't mean much to me. Also it is so mixed up with other traditions of the pagan holiday of fertility, such as the rabbit and the egg, that I would much rather celebrate this time of year for those reasons...seeing as the issue of fertility has been a big one in my life for the past year!

Anyway the weather has been so lovely (again) that it has just been really nice to be out and about (as usual!) Rob was away working on Friday and Saturday, so I had my first ever evening and night completely alone, so I was pretty anxious about it. This wasn't made better by Theo sounding like he had a bit of a cold, with lots of snuffling happening and coughing. So I gave him a little bit of Calpol as he was being pretty unsettled. But how do you know what is really wrong with them? It's really hard...

On friday I went to buy the new pram (one thing to tick off my wish list!) They had one of the patterns I wanted in stock, so I went for that. But I have to say the service at Mama's and Papa's was terrible. I haven't had customer service that bad in a long long while, especially when I'm about to spend quite a lot of money there. They were just completely inattentive, didn't once make eye contact, no one offered me any help, there were enough staff for how many customers there were, but none of them seemed to be able to do things competently, or even notice that there were people there waiting to be served. The girl who served me told me lots of wrong information and just looked put out if she had to do anything...it isn't just me who has had bad service there, other mum's who I spoke to about it said they had the same experience, and wouldn't be going there again...I'm going to try and write to head office and complain..fingers crossed they will give me some sort of compensation!!

Anyway, despite the bad service I love the new pram alot! It is so much easier to push and steer, is lighter and a lot smaller...and is very pretty! I do feel sorry for my old pram though. I have a terrible habit of feeling sorry for inanimate objects, and I feel like I have hurt the old prams feelings, and it's sitting there all rejected and has to watch the new pram being taken out, and thinking 'that used to be me'. It actually makes me feel really sad, poor little thing (well big thing) but still, it didn't do that much wrong, it was just a bit to big for my needs, but it did serve me well for the time we used it, all I hope is that it can go to a new home and be used again. Poor thing...


So anyway the rest of Friday was spent at a BBQ at one of my antenatal ladies house, with about 5 of the other women from the group. I was a bit nervous of going, as I still don't know them all that well, and they all know each other quite a lot, but it was fine. All of their husbands were there too, and as Rob had to work I was by myself. But I had a really nice time, they are all really friendly and welcoming so it wasn't a problem. But I did feel a little funny, and like I am sort of living this charade, as they are all married and in their 30's who own houses and are very middle class, then there is me...but in the end it doesn't matter, as I said, they are all lovely!

On Saturday I went to meet with Robyn for a lovely visit to the park, once again. They have a  little paddling pool there for children, so we took Theo in, well not really in, but just put his legs in the water, which was funny! I really do want to take him swimming soon! The rest of the day was spent round my friend Nicky's house, also a friend from the antenatal group. Sam is 4 weeks older than Theo, and is really sweet! They measure about the same in size though...


It is lovely hanging out with other little babies, and makes it a lot easier to look after them all day if you have someone else doing the same thing too! Sam was showing me his new trick, which is rolling over onto his front! Very sweet and clever. This morning Theo was in his gym thrashing about as usual, at one point I looked down and he had rolled himself onto his side, so it doesn't look like it will be long before he is rolling over too!

So that was Saturday, and Rob returned home in the evening and came round to see Sam, Nicky and Matt.

Yesterday morning was spent in true Sunday style, lazing around in bed eating biscuits and chocolate playing with the bebe.



In the afternoon we then went to Rob's parents for Sunday lunch, and had a nice sit out in the garden. Theo had a tour round the garden and got a feel for the plants!


I am really glad Theo was born when he was because it's been so lovely being able to go out with him and to see him be a lot more observant and interacting with things...also it's nice that I have the energy to go out and do things, instead of being stuck inside like I was in the beginning.

Right so I think that's all for now! Rob has the day off tomorrow, and I would quite like to get out of the city and into the countryside, if the weather is nice! But adios for now.



21 April 2011

galavanting!

wooah sorry little bloggy I've been enjoying myself out in the sunshine! I can't believe how sunny and warm it has been! Theo and I have been galavanting around Bristol! Luckily I bought Theo a little sunhat when I was at my mums, so he can be out in the sun too...



So on Monday Rob and I went to have a look at the pram I want to get in Mamas and Papas, and luckily he agrees with me that it is a nicer, better and more suited to us, so fingers crossed we can get it soon!

We are moving soon, really soon! It's all happened really quickly, but I'm going to be so glad to have the garden in this lovely weather and for the summer.

Right so on Tuesday I met up with my friend Robyn and we took a picnic to the downs, and stayed there pretty much all day which was lovely. That's pretty much all I have been doing recently, just hanging out in the sun in parks! Such a tough life...! Well it is really lovely to be able to do that, but is still a constant effort all day to be looking after Theo, sometimes it's not as relaxing as it could be!



Speaking of that the other day I went to buy some dummies. I have always thought that I didn't want to buy a dummy, but recently Theo has found it really hard to go to sleep in the day unless I take him out, but sometimes I can't just go out as I'm not ready and things need to be done at home.. etc.. and on Tuesday morning he got himself so wound up and over tired because he wouldn't sleep. I got really really stressed out and thought that it was better for me to have a dummy to use in last resort situations like that, so he can actually sleep and I can not get so stressed about it, because it doesn't help him or me. I haven't had to use it there, but I think just knowing that it is there if I need it is quite a reassuring thought. I did feel awful buying them though, like they were the devil and I was giving in...but we shall see how it goes. I'm just scared of him getting attached to it and not being able to settle without it and having to have it all the time...

Anyway yesterday Rob and I had our first date without Theo. It was our anniversary at the weekend so we wanted to do something nice just the two of us. I went to meet up with my antenatal group in the morning, then got home and Rob's mum came round to babysit. We went out for lunch and sat in the sun before going to the cinema. It was lovely to be out and actually talk about other things than the baby. It was strange to be seen as normal people again, not just as parents! I did miss him though. But the novelty of being able to eat a whole two course meal without being interrupted was amazing!

I'm still in bed writing this, which hardly ever happens, it gone 11 in the morning now! I've got to quickly try and get showered and dressed and get out the house into the glorious weather!  I'm loving Bristol a lot at the moment!





Sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I will defs try and do another post soon! In the meantime here's a lovely little video of Theo chattering away! In the mornings he is really awake, and loud! He has become so much more vocal in the last week, it's so lovely to see and hear him making different noises...oh I forgot he had his first laugh too the other day! It was amazing! He laughed because I was in the bathroom, having just got out the shower, and Rob was holding Theo and they creeped around the door, I then opened the door to go out and they made me jump, which made Theo jump, then I started laughing and he got all excited and did a little laugh too! I'm so glad it happened when both Rob and I were there! It was so lovely, and funny too that it happened when they were playing a trick on me!


Sorry the for the bad quality it was dark in the bedroom! Also he does a little poo at the end which I thought I would leave that for you all to hear!

Good bye for now!

p.s Theo is 12 weeks today! I actually can't believe it, but I am loving this stage!

16 April 2011

Wish list

Hello, so today is the last day at me mams..I'm going home today! I'm excited about seeing Rob, and excited for Rob to see Theo.

This week has flown by, I'm not really sure what we have done. Most of the time my mother and I have been entertained by Theo. We have spent probably hours just watching him and talking to him, as he is starting to make so many new noises and have little conversations with us! He is also discovered himself in the mirror, and beams away at his reflection. The other morning I spent about 20 minutes sitting in front of it with him on my lap!

Yesterday we went into Lincoln for a look around the shops. We went into Mamas & Papas, which is probably a bad idea because the pram I want is in there. I wish I had done a bit more research when pram buying and looked around a bit more, because even though I do like our pram it is pretty big and bulky and quite heavy actually. I know Theo is just going to get heavier and heavier, and I can see us having to buy another stroller in the future anyway, because this pram is too big and heavy. So after looking at other people's prams and having a look in shops I really like the Sola. Yesterday we tried it out and it is so light and small. I wish we had got it from birth as we could of had the carrycot, which would have been so lovely for Theo. But anyway, the main reason I really like it, is that the pushchair bit can lie flat or sit up, and face you or outwards. It would be perfect for now, and for later when we needed something light and small we can still use the Sola.


I don't know whether I'm crazy for wanting another pram or not, but I just think about it every time I'm out with the pram we have at the moment. They are quite cheap on ebay, so we'll just have to see what happens. I have to convince Rob too.

Also on my wish list for baby things is the baby cooker. I really want to be able to make all my own food for when it comes to weaning Theo. I think it will be so much easier to make bulk amounts and freeze it too. I can't actually wait to be able to start weaning, it will be so exciting to see him start take an interest in food other than the booby!
So these are on my wish list for le bebe.

It has been so lovely being here at my mums. It's nice that she can take him off and play with him and give him cuddles, also we always talk about how it was for her when she had us and all the things we used to do as babies. I don't think I have ever really talked about that sort of thing with her, and I guess because I was the youngest and never saw her with a baby it was hard to imagine her with us as babies, but now I can see how she must have been with us, which is really lovely!

So what else have we done this week? Oh yes we went to Peterborough or another little shopping trip. First we went to kiddecare and looked at all the toys and accessories. We bought some more washable nappies for when he is a bit bigger, which will hopefully last quite a long time. I do like using the washable nappies, especially if I stay at home most of the day, it's quite good to see how many disposables we save. We also went to my all time favourite shop John Lewis (I'm so middle class!) where we bought a little sweet sunhat and some more vests with dinosaurs on them! Also we went to H&M and bought another little hat...and tried on a few others, and laughed at him, which he wasn't so pleased about...

I really enjoy going out and about, even if it is just to look at shops. If we haven't gone out in the day anywhere we have made sure that we have gone out for a little walk around the village, which has been good.

We also painted his little hands and feet and made prints of them, which was messy to say the least, babies and paint don't mix too well! But it was worth it as the prints are really sweet. Also me made an imprint in clay of his feet and hand, which mumma is going to glaze. I'm glad we finally got round to doing these things as they will be so lovely when he's older and growing so much!




So that's all for now, other than some sweet photos of the bebe...



Also there is one more thing I would like to add to my wishlist, and these are for me:

Now that the weather is getting nicer I would quite like these as my summer sandals thank you...

Adios!

13 April 2011

Breast is best?

Hi, just a quick post to talk about the is breast best programme on bbc3 last night. Only just caught up now!

I have watched all of the other Cherry Healey programmes about pregnancy and marriage and really like them, and found them pretty inspiring. I like how honest and down to earth she is, and its really interesting and important to see all sides of different situations.

I watched the other programmes when I was pregnant, and didn't really have a clue how things would work out for me. I, like a lot of other people really wanted to breastfeed my baby, and formula wasn't really an option, as it seemed silly have to buy something that I could produce myself for free. Also that my milk is much better suited for the baby and is ready on demand whenever the baby needs it. The midwives do really drum it into you that 'breast is best' which I feel is really important, but on the other hand puts the fear and guilt into mothers who want to breastfeed but can't for some reason or another, which I feel is slightly unfair.

Before I gave birth I was under the impression that if you wanted to breastfeed it would be easy, you just put the baby on and away you go! But this was not the case for me at all. The first few days in hospital I couldn't feed without help from the nurses at all. At one point they even had to express some milk from me and feed Theo with a syringe, because he hadn't fed in over 6 hours. I used to get so hot all over with the stress of not being able to feed, and Theo would get himself so wound up because he was hungry that it seemed like fighting a loosing battle. It wasn't just that I didn't know what to do, but Theo didn't know either. You are led to believe that the baby will naturally know what to do, but he didn't, he just didn't open his mouth enough, ever. Luckily there was an excellent nurse who really calmly helped me to get better at feeding. She told me it wasn't my fault and that it just takes time, and that you and baby have to learn together. This took away all the pressure I had put on myself to feed him, and to do it right first time.

The good thing about me having to stay in hospital for a week, was that by the time I left I was confident with feeding. But had I gone home after a day, when he couldn't feed, I might have given up. Luckily for me there was also a really good breast feeding support group just up the road from me, who checked that everything was going well. By that point my feeding was well established, but other mothers were having problems. Speaking to some mums after, away from the midwives, they admitted that they have given formula when feeding was just too hard, and that the felt so guilty and that they were doing so wrong for their child. They also said that they had to go into another room whilst their partners gave the bottle. I understand why midwifes push breastfeeding, because it is really important, and if it is all going ok, it is the best for your baby. But I also feel that the level of pressure that is put on you to do it, even if like some, and Cherry the presenter, it is so painful and you physically can't do it anymore, is wrong. People shouldn't feel so guilty, you have to do what works for you, and make sure the baby is being fed.

Once I had feeding well established the next step was public feeding. I used to be very shy, and worry all the time what people thought about me, and feel funny about standing out too much. But after the experience for giving birth, and knowing that Rob and my mum and the midwife saw EVERYTHING, I sort of lost my inhibitions about that sort of thing. Also I knew that if I was out and Theo was hungry I would have to feed him. I would rather accidentally flash my nipple at a stranger than my baby go hungry. I feel also that knowing I was 100% legally allowed to feed my baby in public made it a lot easier. At first just getting over feeding in front of my friends was tough, but in the end like I said, feeding the baby is more important. Also when you get down to it, no body really looks, and if they do, all they see is a bit of nipple for a second and then its done. Everyone's seen a nipple before, and I'm sure they will forget about it, or not even notice. I think when you are the one who has to get your boob out you are so much more aware of everyone around you, but in reality not that many people even notice, and hardly anyone would ever stare. In the 11 weeks of feeding, and feeding in public I have never had anyone stare, let alone say anything derogatory towards me about doing so.

I feel sorry for the teenage mums who like they say, have no positive association with breastfeeding. It's sad that it is still seen as a taboo, and most don't ever even consider doing it, or weigh up the pros and cons.

I feel so lucky that everything has gone well with me, and I love breastfeeding. I love the feeling of it and knowing that Theo is getting all the food he needs, from me. But I understand how hard it can be, and feel lucky that it hasn't ever been painful for me. Now I know that it isn't as easy as it is made out to be, but it is something that given the right support, can be worth persevering with.

So here is the programme is breast best? It made me cry a lot too!


12 April 2011

The trip back east

hello! Sorry it's been a while since I last posted, it's been a busy busy weekend full of visits to friends and family and traveling all over the country!

Theo was really good after his jabs, and the only side effects were that he slept a bit more than usual, which was fine by me! I love mornings where he sleeps and I can get up and do everything I need to do, and not run around like a mad women. After trying to get Theo into a routine and it not going particularly well I realised that he has got himself into his own routine which works pretty well. He sleeps pretty well at night already, and does sleep in the day, all I need to do is start to make sure he can fall asleep by himself without feeding him, and perhaps try and get him to go down a bit earlier at night. But I think I will try and do these things by following his pattern rather than try and put a brand new one in place that doesn't fit into the one he has already.

So anyway, on Friday I spent most of the day in the park again which was lovely as the weather was amazing again!




Then in the evening I picked Rob up from work and we went on our little road trip back east. Theo slept for the whole time in the car, which was great, as it makes travelling pretty easy. Also it doesn't really seem to upset his routine much when visiting and staying in new places which is really good. I think I'm pretty lucky with Theo because he is a pretty placid baby, and seems to be content in most situations.

On Saturday morning we went for a walk to town with his Granddad, who proudly pushed him in his pram! It was weird being back in my old town with the baby, it felt so long ago that I was living there, and now I am living a completely different life. It did make me feel nostalgic, and I really do love visiting there. We met up with my friends Jonny and Owen and had a lovely picnic at the castle in Saffron Walden.



It's so nice to go away on the weekends, and really make the most of Rob's time off. I love it when Rob is with us, and I'm always much happier when he is around, and I feel like a complete little family. He makes going places more exciting and fun, and it's nice to have someone else to help me look after the little bebe.


In the afternoon we went to Cambridge to see Anna, and once again it felt strange to be walking around with Theo there. I have so many memories of all these places and memories of the person I used to be when I was there. I hope that as Theo gets older we will continue to come back, and he can experience some of the things I did as a child where I grew up, as well as having those in Bristol, the same as Rob's childhood. There are so many things I can't wait to do with him, things that I have really fond memories of as a child, and to see Theo enjoying the same things is going to be an amazing experience!


It was a really busy day, and by the end of it we were all so tired, I fell asleep at about 10!

The next morning we got up and got ready to go over to my cousins. Before that though we went to visit Owen and Jonny's parents to introduce them to Theo. We then on the way over to my Auntys house stopped off at my Great Auntys to once again show off Theo. It was already becoming a busy day! We arrived at the party early so that my cousins could meet Theo properly before lots of people arrived. Slowly more and more people arrived and it got pretty busy! It was really nice to be around my family though, and to be there with Rob. My mum and Andy came, as well as my Dad and sister. They all wanted to hold Theo too, so he was passed around a lot! We ended up sitting in a quiet room away from the main party as it was a bit to much for Theo I think. People came in and out to see us which was nice. By the end of the day though we had a very tired and over-whelmed baby on our hands, as it had been such a busy weekend. I had to make a quick getaway and Theo went to sleep in the car.

Rob went home back to Bristol on the train, and I drove up to my Mum's, where I am staying for the week. It's nice to have a break and someone else there to help me with Theo. He is such a good baby though that it's not really that hard work at the moment, and with the amount of real smiles and giggles he giving away it's even better! He makes my heart melt everytime he smiles, and it's so lovely to see him recognising my face, and his Yaya's (grandmas) face too.


The lucky boy got bough a lovely rocking bouncy chair, and so far so good, he seems to enjoy it quite a lot! He has also really discovered his hands, and plays with them, and sucks on them all the time! Hopefully he will work out how to properly such his thumb, he seems to be pretty close! Awwww he is such a lovely little boy! Even though I don't want him to get bigger I am loving him at this stage probably the most, as its so lovely to see him taking things in and being so much more expressive. I can't wait for all the new developments, but don't him to grow anymore! I still like my baby cuddles!

He was about 14lbs when he was weighed at his check up, 14lbs at 10 weeks! Also he was measured and was 64cms (I think!)

So that's about all for now! More updates soon I promise!

07 April 2011

Jabs

The dreaded doctors

 So today was the day that Theo got his jabs. I was dreading it, and cuddled him a lot more than I usually would! He had his check up with the doctor, and he didn't mind being prodded and pulled about at all, he even gave her smiles! Everything is good with him, and he is a happy healthy baby, which is reassuring to hear. Then it came to his jabs with the nurse, I had him on my lap and I had to hold his leg really still. He gave a little shout of pain at the first one, then a real high pitched cry for the second. I couldn't look at it going in, or at him, I just gave him a big cuddle after. Since then he has been fine, just the same as he usually is. So fingers crossed he will stay that way tonight and tomorrow.

This week has been good and bad. After thinking that my eyes were finally getting better on Monday, they took a turn for the worse on monday night, so I was back to feeling poorly and down in the dumps. Tuesday was also a horrid day, all grey and raining, so I decided I wouldn't go out all day because I couldn't hide away behind my sunglasses. This wasn't good as I went a bit crazy. Theo doesn't like being stuck inside all day, and I didn't have the energy to entertain him all day, nor the imagination. I was also trying to do this routine thing, but it just wasn't working. He wasn't tired when he was supposed to be asleep, never ate as much as he should have so he needed more feeds when he shouldn't be feeding! bah! Not a good day to be starting! I definitely had moments of feeling like I couldn't do it anymore.

But the next day, Wednesday was really nice weather and I went out to meet with my antenatal group ladies in the park. It was really lovely, and Theo was good as gold. He really likes being out, and doesn't really cry. I guess it's just because there is so much going on and for him to look at that he is entertained. Which suits me fine, as I much prefer being out, especially in this amazing weather!

Theo has been cracking out the smiles recently, he just gives them out! It's so sweet. This morning he didn't a little laugh too, which was so exciting, it's not a noise that I've heard him make before, and it was a little squeal of excitedness!


This weekend I'm going back to my home town, for my little cousins 21st birthday tea party. We're going on Friday so I can see my friends and family properly, and I'm so excited! It's been a long time since I've been back, and the first time Theo will be go to the town where I grew up.

I've really been enjoying using my sling, it's been pretty useful for when I want to do things in the house, and Theo seems to like it, and go off to sleep in it. It's nice to have him close to me, and sort of feels like I'm pregnant again!



So that's about all for now, hopefully I'll get time to post over the weekend! Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather!



04 April 2011

A weekend by the sea

hiyaaa, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine was really good, and unexpected!

On Friday I was feeling pretty low, as my eyes were still giving me loads of trouble, I went to the doctors and they said I had viral conjunctivitis, and gave me antibiotics. I felt like I didn't really want to go outside as my eyes looked horrible, all red and puffy and weeping..so I stayed in. I think that everything just caught up with me, all the weeks of not much sleep, and in a harsh way some of the buzz of having a newborn baby has gone now, so I started to feel a bit down.

When Rob got back from work he suggested that we go and see my mum, I really wanted to but it's such a long drive and my eyes were really playing me up, so we decided to go to Rob's Grandmas by the seaside. We got there about 10 in the evening and pretty much went to bed.



The next day we had a lovely cooked breakfast then went into town to look at the shops. It was such a nice day, and Rob and I went to the seafront, had ice-creams and sat and watched all the people walking their dogs. Theo slept for the whole time, and it felt really nice to finally spend some quality time with Rob. I can't wait for Theo to get older and really appreciate going to visit his great-grandparents and spend time by the seaside!







The next morning we got up early to go to a car boot sale. It was my first car boot sale of the year, but was pretty small and rubbish, so I was ever so slightly disappointed.



 We were staying for sunday lunch and Rob's uncle, aunty and cousins were coming round. Theo was so good all weekend, and he was just giving smiles away. I'm so glad that he seems to be ok when we got and stay with other people and it doesn't seem to unsettle him too much. It was also great to have a break, and have someone to hand Theo over to, after all week of having him by myself, it is such a relief!


 Anyway, after lunch we drove home, and some friends from Uni came over to meet Theo. Seeing Uni friends make me think about how much my life has changed since finishing, it seems like so long ago now!

My friend Holly lent me her baby book "The new contented baby" by Gina Ford, to help with getting Theo into a routine. So this evening we are trying to put it into action. As soon as Rob got home from work he gave him a bath. Then I gave him a massage and gave him a really long feed. He is currently still crying. I know the first night is supposed to be the hardest, but I truely feel mean again. But hopefully by following this routine he will sleep through the night, which let me tell you, would be bloody amazing!

Right anyway that's all for now. So I had a lovely weekend, including my first ever mothers day (eek I'm a mother now!) Theo bought me a bunch of lovely flowers!


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