22 March 2011

Humble pie

Hello,  it's been a few days and not a lot has happened. Had a difficult day on Sunday, where Theo didn't go to sleep all day properly, so I had to run round like a mad women trying to do all the cleaning and tidying whilst he slept for 10 minute intervals (including trying to clean and dress myself, not an easy task I can assure you) but here's a sweet photo I took whilst he was asleep for a short time...



So as they say if they don't sleep much in the day they will be restless at night (not sure how that works, but it seems to be true) so I was super tired when it came to yesterday morning, which is the one morning I have to get up to go to my exercise class. But anyway on Sunday the only way I could get Theo to sleep was to go out for a walk, which was good because it was a really nice day again and I wanted to get out. I walked to Clifton Village, past all the lovely lovely houses and little parks.



It was nice, but again I was by myself, and because it was Sunday, and it was warm and sunny there were lots of people out having a nice time together, lots of little families, and it just made me wish that Rob was with me, and we could go sit in the park in our own little family. But for the next month or so he will have the weekends off, because he started his new job yesterday, and is training for a month, so he will be able to join me on my little walks around.

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So some new developments with Theo are that he can pretty much hold his head up by himself now, which I'm very impressed with! It's so nice to see him be more alert and looking around more and more. He's also discovering his hands and has started to have a good suck on his fists, which is sweet. Also in the mornings he has started to be really awake and making more talking noises, so we have our little conversations. He gets really excited still by kicking his legs, and I swear he is starting to make the beginning noises of a little laugh!


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On a more serious note, I have been horribly paranoid and scared about him these last few days. I think it's come from watching Comic Relief, and seeing lots of stories about sick and dying children. I know it is usually sad to see all of the footage from Africa, but this time it was even worse because now that I have Theo I can't imagine how horrible it would be if he was that ill. When Theo had his infection in hospital I felt so so aweful that he was ill, it was really scary, and I had this gut wrenching feeling inside, but luckily he was ok, and it was only something small, I just can't begin to know how it would feel if it was something much worse. I also found a blog, a really nice blog, but a blog about a family who lost their 3 month old baby boy to meningitis. It is really shocking and sad, and I feel so aweful for the parents who had to go through that. Once again I was reminded how scary it would be if that happened to Theo, and how quickly things can happen. I feel so lucky that Theo is healthy and born in a country where we will always be able to get help, and that we have to many friends and family who will always look out for us. Because now that Theo is with us I can't imagine life without him, and I really don't know what I would do if anything did happen.

Sorry I know it's not a very nice thing to be talking about, but I got really scared, over nothing, but just the thought of something happening. It's been a very humbling weekend.

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Anyway, sorry about that. Theo has his checkup this week and his jabs, which hopefully will assure he will be safer from infections. So I'm looking forward to that, but dreading it at the same time!

That's all for now. Theo will be 8 weeks this Thursday, madness. Utter madness.

3 comments :

  1. Ah lovely you and Theo - yes it is a very scary realisation when this little person is there - and you love them soo soo much - that any thought of them being ill or losing them is too unbearable for words!! Someone once told me when Grace was a baby - Once you have a child - its like your heart is walking around outside your body!! I always think of that - and you know - that will always be true!! Even when they reach 24!! Love you loads my darling girl xxxx

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  2. That's the most beautiful thing to say xxx

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  3. that is the best and most beautiful way to describe it! that's my new favourite quote! see you in a few weeks!

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