31 March 2011

Yuk

Today is not such a good day, feeling pretty lousy. I've got an eye infection meaning that my eyes all all red and puffy, itchy and watering. Also my eczema has got pretty bad on my hands and I just feel pretty fragile! I think I'm just run down, and 9 weeks of not much sleep is finally taking it's toll. I wish I could have one day and night off, just to rest and recover a little...but that's not going to be possible..for a long long while..

I feel like I don't want to go out of the house because of my skin and my eyes, but then I feel a bit rubbish having to stay in the house all day. I have been out this morning to my post natal class, which was good, but I still feel uncomfortable when I'm out. I know that no-one else cares, but I think everyone is looking at my horrid eyes or skin and it makes me feel rubbish. Hopefully things will clear up in the next day or two, and I will start to feel better about myself.

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So in other news we put a deposit on the flat, and if all goes to plan we should be moving on the 9th of May, which is not very long away at all! I'm getting more excited about it, especially about having a bath! Also we're going to get a kitten from my sister, which will be great!

Anyway that's about all for now! If anyone wants to come and magically cure me, that would be great!

Here some's pictures of the sweet little boy, which make eveything ok again!




p.s hopefully going to be doing a makeover on my blog! so stay tuned for a change!

28 March 2011

Moving on...

hello! I hope everyone had a very enjoyable weekend, I did!

On Saturday we took advantage of Rob's day off and had a lovely little picnic in a small park in Clifton, we then went for a lovely walk around Clifton and the zoo. It was just really nice spending time with Rob, as he had been working for the past 7 days, and it felt as though we hadn't hung out or done anything together in ages!


On Sunday my cousin was supposed to be visiting, but unfortunately she had car troubles so couldn't come..which was such a shame because we were both looking forward to it so much as she hasn't met Theo yet. But I will be seeing them in two weeks time, so will be good! So instead Rob an I had a lazy Sunday morning, Rob cooked a fry up, which was yummy, and then we went back to bed!



In the afternoon we went into town to have a look at the sales, as I was in dire need of some post-preggo clothes as my pre-preggo clothes don't quite fit me right yet. We then treated our selves to some ice cream sundaes, which definitely won't help me with fitting into my pre clothes! But it was fun!



Rob has had a long weekend, so had today off aswell. It's so nice when he is around because we can share all the responsibility of looking after Theo, which means I get a bit of a break, which is good for my mental health! Having a baby to look after all day and night by yourself is tough sometimes, as I feel I can't really relax properly and my mind is always on Theo, even when he is asleep! Today I went to my exercise class and Rob took Theo to his mum's, so that was nice to go without him and just concentrate on the class. Even though I did miss him quite a lot, it felt as though I was missing something!

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So in other, but quite important news we may be moving sooner than we thought we would. I love this flat, but have always said that it would be perfect if it had another bedroom and a bath. The other day we noticed that a house a few doors down from us had a to let sign on it, so I checked it out online, and it's a two bed garden flat, £100 more a month. We really really like the location of where we are, and thought we would like to stay around here when we move, but it's quite an expensive area. We went to look at the flat on Saturday morning, and quite liked it, but it didn't make us really excited. It had a nice grassy garden, and a bigger kitchen, and extra bedroom, and a bath! Hurrah! So after a day and a night of thinking about it, we thought that actually it is a really good flat, and only just down the road. Its everything we need and want in a flat, and not too expensive for this area, so it seems like a good deal. We went to look at it again today and think that we might take it. We were never sure when we were going to move, but knew that we would have to eventually as Theo gets older. So this seems like a good step to make. But it's scary and I'm getting nervous about it.

I'm silly and I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects, and I feel bad for our flat. I suppose it's because this is our first flat together, I went into labour in this flat, and this is Theo's first home. Plus we never expected to move so quickly, but I guess when the oppourtunity like this comes up, we sort of have to take it, as we don't know if something like this will come up again.

I will keep you posted on what happens with it! Also an exciting plus point, is that we can keep pets there, and my sisters cat has just had kittens...so we may have one of them! I miss having pets around, and think it will be nice for Theo when he's older to have a cat around!

So that's all for now! I had a very lovely weekend indeed!

25 March 2011

How ruddy annoying

Right, today was the day that Theo was supposed to be getting his 8 week check and jabs. I thought that the appointment was in the afternoon, like my previous one was, I went to check what time it was exactly in my diary at 11.20, only to see that it was actually at 11.10! So I rushed around getting ready and raced up the big hill to the doctors, getting there at 11.30. I waited for a bit but they said they couldn't see me. I was gutted and the only other appointment I can get is two weeks away. I feel aweful, the one thing I had to do this week and I go and screw it up! I felt like I'd failed a little bit...I was also annoyed because the last time I went to the doctors, to see the same doctor I had to wait for 50 minutes for my appointment because she was running late, why couldn't that happen this time? It's so bloody typical...So despite the beautiful weather I'm in a rotten mood. hmmpph.

This week we have truely been treated to some lovely weather this week, and hopefully it will continue into the weekend as Rob has it off! We've already got a busy one lined up so it will be nice to have some plans for a change. Our friends from our antenatal class, Matt and Nikki with their baby Sam are coming round for lunch on Saturday, then my cousin and aunty and uncle are coming on Sunday, which I'm very excited about.

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So these last few nights with Theo have been really good! We decided that for his 10 o'clock feed I would express and Rob would feed him in his crib, so therefore he would fall asleep and not have to be moved, which when I fed him before he always woke up again as soon as I put him in his crib. I've been expressing a full bottle (5 fl oz) load but he is still hungry after that, so I fed him in the bed after that, and he still has a long feed, but then falls into a deep sleep and doesn't even stir when I move him to his moses basket. Then he has been sleeping for 5 hours straight, waking for a feed and a change, then a little feed then goes back to sleep for about 4 hours. Then in the morning he has a feed then sleeps in the bed for an hour or so, so I can get up and have a shower, get ready and tidy up and do mundane things like put the washing out, which I actually love doing, especially as I can hang it up outside now! It's one of my great obsessions, looking at washing on a line..I find it really comforting!


I went to the park again yesterday with my friend Mimi and her little baby Eric, it was really nice just to sit around chatting about the ups and downs of babies!




It's scary but Theo and Eric look really similar, the could potentially look like brothers! It's because Mimi and I look nothing like each other, nor do the Rob and her boyfriend! We'll just have to see how they grow up and if they still look like eachother!

Anyway, that's all for now, I should really get out and enjoy the weather! Have a nice weekend everyone!

22 March 2011

Humble pie

Hello,  it's been a few days and not a lot has happened. Had a difficult day on Sunday, where Theo didn't go to sleep all day properly, so I had to run round like a mad women trying to do all the cleaning and tidying whilst he slept for 10 minute intervals (including trying to clean and dress myself, not an easy task I can assure you) but here's a sweet photo I took whilst he was asleep for a short time...



So as they say if they don't sleep much in the day they will be restless at night (not sure how that works, but it seems to be true) so I was super tired when it came to yesterday morning, which is the one morning I have to get up to go to my exercise class. But anyway on Sunday the only way I could get Theo to sleep was to go out for a walk, which was good because it was a really nice day again and I wanted to get out. I walked to Clifton Village, past all the lovely lovely houses and little parks.



It was nice, but again I was by myself, and because it was Sunday, and it was warm and sunny there were lots of people out having a nice time together, lots of little families, and it just made me wish that Rob was with me, and we could go sit in the park in our own little family. But for the next month or so he will have the weekends off, because he started his new job yesterday, and is training for a month, so he will be able to join me on my little walks around.

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So some new developments with Theo are that he can pretty much hold his head up by himself now, which I'm very impressed with! It's so nice to see him be more alert and looking around more and more. He's also discovering his hands and has started to have a good suck on his fists, which is sweet. Also in the mornings he has started to be really awake and making more talking noises, so we have our little conversations. He gets really excited still by kicking his legs, and I swear he is starting to make the beginning noises of a little laugh!


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On a more serious note, I have been horribly paranoid and scared about him these last few days. I think it's come from watching Comic Relief, and seeing lots of stories about sick and dying children. I know it is usually sad to see all of the footage from Africa, but this time it was even worse because now that I have Theo I can't imagine how horrible it would be if he was that ill. When Theo had his infection in hospital I felt so so aweful that he was ill, it was really scary, and I had this gut wrenching feeling inside, but luckily he was ok, and it was only something small, I just can't begin to know how it would feel if it was something much worse. I also found a blog, a really nice blog, but a blog about a family who lost their 3 month old baby boy to meningitis. It is really shocking and sad, and I feel so aweful for the parents who had to go through that. Once again I was reminded how scary it would be if that happened to Theo, and how quickly things can happen. I feel so lucky that Theo is healthy and born in a country where we will always be able to get help, and that we have to many friends and family who will always look out for us. Because now that Theo is with us I can't imagine life without him, and I really don't know what I would do if anything did happen.

Sorry I know it's not a very nice thing to be talking about, but I got really scared, over nothing, but just the thought of something happening. It's been a very humbling weekend.

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Anyway, sorry about that. Theo has his checkup this week and his jabs, which hopefully will assure he will be safer from infections. So I'm looking forward to that, but dreading it at the same time!

That's all for now. Theo will be 8 weeks this Thursday, madness. Utter madness.

20 March 2011

The Spring and me

hello! So this weekend has been lovely, well the weather has! Yesterday I abandoned all cleaning jobs that needed to be done in favour of going out for a sunny walk. Rob was at work, so it was just Theo and I.



I walked up Whiteladies Road, where there was a street market going on, and lots of people walking around, enjoying the sunshine. People were lapping up the sun, daring even to go out without coats, yes you heard me, without coats! Us crazy British folk, the first glimpse of sun and we all go mad! (I did take my coat off half way up the road though, but I got hot pushing the pram up the hill) Later on in Sainsburys I swear I heard someone talking about BBQ's...see what I mean!



I went to the Downs to have a walk around there, and had a little picnic whilst Theo slept in his pram. I then walked around a bit, even did a bit of off roading and sat on the grass with a rug and fed Theo alfresco styyylee...It was his first experience of being outside not in his pram, but he didn't seem to appreciate it very much..



So Theo has been getting much better at this sleeping thing, and staying in his moses basket all the time now. I'm so glad that we sorted that out. He's changing so much at the moment and growing so fast! He can pretty much hold his head up by himself now, and has started to make more talking noises...we have pretty good conversations...and of course he is being lovely and smiley!


Ahh he's such a cutey! I don't think I can ever get bored of his face, and just want to squeeze him til he pops sometimes. (don't worry I won't!)

I'm so glad the weather is nicer because it encourages me to go out more, rather than just sitting inside all day watching rubbish tv. Yesterday was really nice just going out and sitting in the sun reading a book, but sometimes I wish I had more people I could ring up and hang out with. Most people I know here are working most of the time, or have babies and its hard to arrange things with, especially do last minute things with..but it's ok, at least I have Theo to hang out with!

When Rob came home for work we were naughty and lazy and treated ourselves to an Indian takeaway, which was really tasty. It was from the same place we had the curry on our first ever night in the flat, ah how things have changed since then!



Right, I'd better go as the beast is finally asleep and there is a huge pile of washing up with my name all over it...

18 March 2011

Keer-ching!

Hello! So it's been a few days, but what a wonderful few days it has been! The sun has been shining and I have been getting terribly over-excited by the first few glimpses of Spring arriving, and especially excited by the arrival of the Magnolia blossom!

But don't leave yet, there is more excitement! The other reasons that this week has been a good one is because it finally seems as though things are going our way a little bit.

Firstly Rob has been off work more this week, which has been lovely hanging out with him more, and having a hand with looking after Theo. He has been off of work because he is taking some holiday because he is leaving his current job, and starting a new one on Monday! He got the job last week, for best buy, which is more hours and more money! It was such a relief when we found out, as Rob has been looking for a new job for a while now, as you know. In addition to this Rob's Grandma came to see us and brought us lots of treats, and took as out for lunch, which was lovely. Oh I've already mentioned this haven't I?



Anyways, another reason for the good week is Money, money money!

I applied for working tax credits and child tax credits a few weeks ago, but hadn't heard anything so far, but yesterday I checked my bank balance and they had been put in, and I'll just say that it was a lot, A LOT more than we expected! I think it was probably back-dated from some point, which is amazing...Also on the same day Rob got a letter with a tax rebate in it, which is also amazing! So with some of this money I went over to the dark-side, and bought an iphone...I wanted one mainly so I could take photos with it, and use the apps to make them look a bit better. In an ideal world I would still love to be able to use film, as I think it looks a lot better, but it's so expensive now a days, that this is just a bit easier! But it's been fun today, I've taken lots of our travels...





Right, so the final reason for things being good is that we are getting there with the routine thing. Last night Theo slept for 5 hours straight, woke up for a feed and a nappy change, then went back to sleep for 3 more hours...and AND this was him sleeping in the moses basket! Also he slept in the day in his moses basket, which was great! So hopefully we can start trying to put him down at the same times every day, and get him into a sleep routine like that, but its still early days! But I'm pleased on the progress we've made, and at least he is in his own bed!



So that's about all for now! I'm sure I'll be back soon as the blogging and feeding thing is working well! Oh yeh I started using my twitter again @myworriedshoes if anyone wants to follow me! Hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather, and has a nice weekend!

16 March 2011

Mean times

Oh dear, I feel like the biggest meanie in the world.

So in terms of getting Theo into a routine, we are putting him in his crib to fall asleep for the evening. Last night we gave him a bath and he fell asleep, so we put him in the moses basket. He woke up and cried, and cried, and we left him to fall asleep, which he eventually did. He then woke up about an hour later, so I gave him a feed then we put him back in the moses basket, and after about 5 mins of crying he went to sleep. It was really horrible to hear him just crying, Rob had to stop me from going to pick him up because I feel so bad.

So again tonight I gave him a bath, changed him, fed him and he fell asleep on me. So I then put him in his basket again, and he's been crying ever since. So I thought I would write a blog to stop me going in there. He seems to be wearing himself out now, and hopefully he will fall asleep. Because last night when he fell asleep he slept for nearly 4 hours, so I want to get him to do the same again. Bah but it is horrid horrid! Poor little baby! Am I right in doing this?

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Anyway so today Rob's grandma came to visit, and it was lovely. She cuddled Theo lots, and he gave her lots of big gummy smiles when we were changing him, as he was half naked, which he loves...We then went out for lunch, and he slept all the way through, and played the perfect baby. Which he is.

15 March 2011

Success!

So last night was a little bit of a breakthrough, or more like getting back to what it used to be like, because Theo slept not in the bed, but in his moses basket! Hooray! Hopefully this is the start of him being able to settle in his own bed...I still fed him in the bed, and fell asleep with him next to me, but when I woke up I put him in his own bed, and after a bit of settling he finally went to sleep!

Also I went to get him weighed today and the big fatty weighs 12lbs 50z! yikes! So still gaining weight well...

So I thought I would show you a picture of Theo wearing a present that someone gave to him...


A little pair of Addidas trainers! hah! I think they look funny, but in a good way. Theo just looks so big now, not like a little baby anymore. I can't believe how much he has grown, in just 7 weeks...


Anyway, more about me! I went to the hairdressers today to have my haircut for the first time in a long long while. They started off by giving me a head, neck and shoulder massage, which was very welcome because when I feed in the night and then fall asleep on my side, my neck always really aches. I didn't get anything drastic done, just a better cut for my hair, as it was so awful I had to wear it up all the time! Anyway, again it was so nice to do something for myself, and be out for an hour or two with out Theo (Rob was off from work today, so I left them together) But when I got back I had a cuddle and realised that I really missed him. It's a weird physical thing, I really miss the feel of his body and his weight, it's strange.


See not that much different, just better, a lot better!

It's taken me about 4 hours to write this blog post, I keep on getting interrupted. Currently I can hear Theo crying from the bedroom, we are trying the being mean thing. Well, he fell asleep on Rob's shoulder, and hasn't had a proper sleep for quite a few hours now, so we put him in his basket. He was asleep for a bit, but then woke up crying. We've been in a few times and just patted him to let him know we're still there, but he's still crying...god it's hard! I feel so so mean..poor little bebe...

So I'd better end this here, before it takes me another 3 hours to complete...

14 March 2011

Cry Baby

So today has been a lovely day, weather wise..it's so exciting to see the start of Spring, it really is my favourite time of year, and makes me really happy!

Theo has decided to spend most of the day crying though. I got up early and went to the post-natal fitness class which was really good again. I'm really glad that I'm doing something, because I have never been that motivated to go to fitness classes, but I really want to lose my pregnancy weight, as it doesn't feel like me...Anyway, so Theo woke up again towards the end of the class, so he only really slept for about an hour this morning. When we got home I fed him and changed him then tried to put him down for a sleep. I don't know what it is, he really doesn't like his crib. He was crying and crying, but I was trying to leave him, but eventually he was sick all over himself, so I had to pick him up and change him. I think he just really likes being held at the moment, because every time I put him down he cries. I think I really need a sling so that he can still be close to me, but I can walk around and have my hands free, and hopefully he will sleep.

I guess I will just have to keep on trying to put him down, and gradually get him used to it, I don't expect the routine to start immediately, but it's just so horrible to hear him crying and trying not to pick him up, it breaks my heart a little bit...

Anyway that's all for now, he has finally gone to sleep, albeit on me.

Rob has the next few days off of work, which will be nice to have a helping hand. I've got to get my haircut tomorrow, which will be such a nice treat, I haven't had my hair cut for a very very long time.

Right I'm off, hopefully to enjoy a slightly quieter even...fingers crossed!

12 March 2011

Sickly Saturday

Hello, so today Theo performed his favourite party trick, of being sick, waiting until I had changed myself and him then being sick all over again! Fun times...

So my Saturday has been very unproductive, once again I didn't really get up until about 11.30, and dressed until about 1, which I then had to get changed again. When Theo fell asleep I watched a film, then suddenly the day was getting on to evening, and I haven't really moved from the sofa (which currently is in the form of a bed..) I think I need to get into a better routine. I know Theo is still really young, but I feel frustrated that I can't really get much done, and that Theo is the one dictating my routine and day. I really need to start putting him down, and letting him fall asleep, instead of me waiting until he goes to sleep then quickly trying to rush around to get housework and other things I want to do, done. So I have 6 weeks until he is 12 weeks old, and it is really important that I get him into more of a routine..so does anyone have any advice and tips?

I haven't really read any 'parenting books' and I'm just taking each day as it comes, without trying to do much other than making sure Theo is fed and sleeps and changed, and of course cuddled and played with. I didn't really think about it before, and this whole parenting this is so new to me, so I haven't really had time to think about the way I 'should' be doing it, I'm just trying and get on with it to the best of my ability. I just try and make sure Theo is happy, but I guess sometimes I'm making it harder for myself, especially for the future.

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So this week has been good, and once again the time has flown by, Theo is now over 6 weeks! I can't believe we've already reached 6 weeks, and I feel quite proud that I've made it this far without too many troubles. He is feeding well, which I am so glad of.







On Wednesday night I had my first night out without him. It was my managers birthday from Pumpkin Patch, and we went out to Bingo. I think for my first time out without Theo, it could only be bingo really! I had such a good time, but was worried and kept on checking my phone. I had expressed some milk in the day, and we'd tried Theo on a bottle the night before. I think he took to it ok, but guzzled the milk quickly! I was worried that when I was out he would drink all the milk and I would have to come home early, or that he wouldn't be able to settle. But Rob did really well, and I returned, quite quickly because Rob had run out of milk, and I expected to come home to him screaming, but he was happily asleep when I returned. I did really miss him though, again it felt strange to be by myself again, without a bump or a baby.

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Right, so I attempted to cook dinner with Theo in our baby carrier, it was the first time I had to tired to use it, and it went ok, he cried a little, but was ok, until he really needed a feed. It was quite funny, trying to chop vegetables, but it was good to have two hands at least! So this said dinner is now ready, so I'd better go!

So any tips and advice on how I should get more of a routine!

09 March 2011

Theodore the exhibitionist

So there is quite a lot I want to write about, but once again haven't really had the chance! I'm attempting to write whilst feeding, breast feeding blogging, perhaps I will start a new craaaaze?

So anyway, we have discovered that Theo LOVES being naked. After we give him and bath and dry him off we put him on his mat and he kicks his arms and legs about for about half an hour or so. He smiles and gives little squeaks and squeals of excitement! Even if I'm changing him I leave his nappy off so he can have a good old kick around, it's very sweet to watch!


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These last few days have been buuusy! Well since the weekend it's been busy. My Mum and Andy came down to visit again which was nice, and really helpful as they came to the flat and helped me tidy and clean and take Theo off my hands so I could do things. They are very good with Theo, and when we were out looking at the shops I got really tired, so for the first time ever, I left Theo in their capable hands in the pram and went home to have a little nap. It felt so strange walking without the pram or Theo anywhere in sight. I felt like a normal person who just blended in with everyone else, and I didn't really like it. I think it's because I was so used to being pregnant and walking around with this huge bump in the way, and then walking around with the pram infront of me and getting used to walking along like that to then suddenly having nothing feels really strange, I felt naked!


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The weather has been lovely these last few couple of days, and I'm getting so excited about the start of spring! I have been for walks on the Downs, which is a big open area in Bristol, right up high. I live really close to them so it's really lovely to be able to go and walk there and feel like you are out of the city and in open fields. My friend Robyn (hi Robyn!) has been back in Bristol for a few days so she came to meet Theo for the first time. We had a lovely time walking around and chatting, and I really miss having an old friend living here, and having people I can do that with!

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On Monday morning I went to a post-natal exercise class, run by the fitness instructor who took the antenatal swimming classes I used to go to. It was really good to get out and do something (really) active. I haven't done that much exercise in a long while! It was half an hour of aerobic workout, and it really got me sweating! You bring along your baby and leave them at the edge in the pram and hope that they don't wake up. It's really relaxed though, and if you ever feel like you need to stop you can, and if the baby wakes up then you can change or feed them when you need to. Theo woke up after we did the workout, so I missed the other half of the session of stretching which I sat and watched. I really enjoyed it though, and I'm going to try and go every week as it actually feels really good doing something for me for a change!

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Unfortunately Rob has come down with some sort of illness today, hopefully Theo and I won't catch it because if we were all ill at the same time I don't know what we would do. I can only just about manage to do all the house work and look after Theo at the same time normally, so I can't imagine how everything would get done if I were ill too. Theo is showing no signs of settling into a routine, in fact in the last few days he has gotten a lot worse! In the nights he has been waking more for feeds, and finding it hard to settle. Plus in the days, like yesterday he hardly slept at all. I think perhaps he is having a growth spurt, because he seems to be feeding a lot too. He has developed a lovely habit of, when we are getting ready to go out, waiting until the last minute, after I have finally got myself and him dressed and ready, of then being projectile sick over both of us. It's great fun...not!



(Phone photos sorry!)

So I'd say that's about it for now! I'm going to try and be a lot more productive with my time, and try and fit in blogging when I'm feeding, instead of being stuck in front of the tv watching Friends and Top gear re-runs. Nothing like spring weather to kick you up the bum and make you more productive, so fingers crossed this feeling lasts!

p.s Theo is six weeks tomorrow! Six weeks, blimey!

03 March 2011

Smiles

Hello so I thought I would post a few photos of the beginnings of Theo's smiles...we usually get them once a day which is nice!




video

Not much has been happening in the last few days. Theo is still sleeping in the bed with me, but I'm going to try and out him down in the days in his crib so he can get used to sleeping in there, then try it at night.

This morning I went to a 'new parenting' class at the clinic, which is like antenatal classes, expect everyone has their babies. We just had to talk to people about how we manage to do the shopping and cook and shower and things, to share tips and experiences I guess. I enjoyed it and it was good to get out the house for something, and to meet other mums. Also I think it's really good that they run things like this, for free, because it is really helpful and creates a good support network. I've been pretty impressed with the classes that have been available, considering what other people get, or well don't get!

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My mum and Andy are coming to Bristol again this weekend, so lucky Theo gets to see his Yaya again, which will be nice! Rob's parents also visited today, which was nice to see them, and for them to see Theo as it's been a while!

Yesterday the health visitor came round to weigh Theo and the little chubster weighs 11lbs 5oz, that's one whole pound in two weeks!

That's all for now, I expect it will be a busy weekend so I may not have time to update until afterwards, so have a nice weekend everyone!
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