17 December 2010

Garden State

So another day spent doing not much, other than lying on the sofa, speaking to my sisters, doing the washing up and watching it trying to snow outside.

This afternoon I got the sudden urge to watch Garden State. So I did. I love this film a lot and I haven't watched it in a long long time. There is one scene, though, that says lots that I feel or have felt recently. It's the scene where they are in the swimming pool and talking about the idea of 'home'. As I've mentioned before this is something I'm quite obsessed with. In the movie, Andrew the main guy (Zach Braff) is talking about how he has realised that the house he grew up in is no longer his home, and that he is homesick for a place that doesn't exist anymore. That there is a point in time after you have left the place you used to call home, and before you have set up your own home, for your own family. This is something that I never really took notice of in the film before, but it's something that now I can really understand. This is something that I have been feeling for the last few years, since I left for University I think, and never really felt like I had a family home to go back to.

This is why I was so desperate to find a place of my own, to start my own home for me and my soon to be family. I was speaking to my sister about this yesterday, and I think that perhaps this is one of the reasons why having a baby felt right to me, that no matter of my age, perhaps it was time for me to start my own family and to finally feel at home again.

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