31 October 2010

Sisters!

So finally I have a few photos of when I visited my sister in Canterbury last weekend! She was obsessed with the bump and feeling the baby kick, which was really nice, and spoke to it, the same way Rob speaks to it too...perhaps there is a standard way to talk to a bump? It's really nice that she is excited, because I forget that this baby is going to impact on her life in a big way too, and my other family members. It is an exciting time for everyone, not just me! I'm so happy to have my families support and love and excitement, because without that things would be 100% harder! I can't wait for them to meet my baby, and for them to get to know him as he grows up!

I look so much bigger than her in these pictures, a true whaling giant! But it does not matter, as there is anther person inside of me! Notice also my lovely vintage dress, that does make me look big, but I love it! It is the first vintage dress that I have found to go with my shape!









Also this weekend at work we had to dress up for Halloween, yesterday I went as a mummy, but I didn't take any pictures, but should be able to get one tomorrow, and today I went as a zombie dead thing:







It was fun dressing up! It certainly made the day go a bit faster! Work is still really good, but I have started to feel more and more tired being there, with my legs aching. They are really good and if I ever need to sit down and not do anything, that's fine.

I got used to the way I have been feeling over the last month or so, and now I can feel my body, and my emotions starting to change again. I'm starting to get more and more tired in the evenings, and my bump is getting heavy! All those times I was wishing it was there, and now sometimes I wish it was not!

Also I have started to feel my hormones go a bit wayward at times too, especially when I'm tired, which makes me not a particularly easy person to be around. But the fact that we have a flat and will be moving in jut over two weeks is something that is making things much easier for me! I'm so excited! I'm really looking forward now to stopping work, and spending my days pottering around the flat, maybe doing some knitting, going to the charity shops or just reading or watching tv. It will be nice to have some time to myself actually, to just be quiet. I am definitely having the nesting urges.

Last night I got worried about me and Rob. I'm not sure why, but I know I'm being difficult about some things at the moment, and not the best person to be around, and Rob is doing his best to ignore it when I'm a grouch and rude. But sometimes I'm scared that I will never go back to the person I used to be, and that I will forever more be this person who is moody and tired. I'm also aware that these are the very last few months that it's going to be just me and Rob, and this makes me sad. Not that I'm not really really excited about the baby, but it's been so lovely just living with Rob and getting to know him better, and I know that is all going to change soon. I'm just worried about the future I guess, and because our relationship has been far from normal, I'm just scared about how we are going to handle the next stage. I would love it, obviously, if me and Rob stayed together for a long long time, and could be a couple whilst the baby grows up and beyond, but I have to be realistic and know that this might not happen. But the thought of being with someone else, and having the child, and the child not being with Rob everyday is a scary one. I know I really shouldn't think about these things, but sometimes you have to, and it does worry me.

But for now I know that he loves me, and he wants this baby as much as I do, even if it wasn't the way we thought our lives would go.

...

Anyway, I'm currently playing the baby peach some sigur ros. He is kicking around a bit, so I hope that means he likes it. If I continues to play it to him perhaps it will act as a way to soothe him when he is a whailing bebe.

I can hear children outside in the street trick or treating! So happy Halloween everyone!

2 comments :

  1. Hi Abbi, I can undersatnd your security fears for you and Rob and think once you have your own place you will find it easier with your relationship feelings. You know it will be tough to start with due to money etc, but if you have each other it will be okay. But never forget don't ever take each other for granted after all there are two of you that started and are in this relationship, so never forget the other persons feelings and needs etc. I am sure that having these feeling, you are aware of that anyway. You will be ok and so will Rob,, love Dad

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  2. what a pretty dress! And love the photos with your sister :) Enjoy the quiet and time for yourself before the baby comes - such a good time to just do nothing. Oh just saw that you're moving to your new flat in 2 weeks - nice one! I'm pleased you found an understanding landlord and can now make it your little home. Re Rob, I've just started reading your blog but your dad's very sweet and says all the right things above I think! I'm sure he knows you're hormonal because of the pregnancy and it can be a weird experience to have a baby growing inside you. Just remember why you like each other and let the baby be part of that - not the other way round. Take each step at a time x

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