03 October 2010

Autumn

I'm very excited that Autumn is nearly here! I love it! I can't wait to go stomping through leaves, and wear my winter coats, and scarfs. I love clear blue crisp days, where you can properly wrap up warm, and just about see your breath. I feel very excited that I'm going to have my proper bump in Autumn and winter because it somehow makes me feel even more cosy and warm. The only really good thing about summer is knowing that Autumn is going to follow. I even sometimes like the dull grey days, because they make me feel cosy. I can't tell you how excited I am about wearing tights again, and now I get to pull them up over my bump and feel all secure.

Yesterday I drove from Bristol back up to my mums. I quite like driving to a completely different part of the country, and seeing the landscape change. My heart quickened whenever I saw some slightly yellow trees. I really do love it.

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So I'm feeling a bit better today, still full of cold, but I don't have the all consuming body ache and illness that I had before. I spent all of Thursday and Friday in bed, which left me feeling pretty grumpy and rubbish. Then on Saturday I woke up feeling ok and back to my usual self.

I'm glad that I'm coming away for a little while. I think its good for me and Rob to have some space, as living in one room with each other can sometimes get a little hard. Everything is going well, it's just getting used to living with one another is going to take some time, and especially when that living is taking place in one room. Suddenly our relationship has got a lot more serious, and there is no space or time to really adjust to things.
I've been living at his parents for 2 weeks now. It has gone ok, but I still feel a bit uncomfortable there. Things with the moving are going quite slowly, and I'm not sure whether they will ever be properly done. I just really wish that we had a place of our own. I think it would make the transition of me and Rob living together a lot smoother and easier, and a chance to get everything sorted and set in place for when the baby arrives. It would have been nice to be able to establish somewhere as our home first, and then bring the baby into that, rather than have to do that at some point in the future, when everything gets too much living at his parents. I know not having the stress of money is a really good thing, but having the many other stresses that living at his parents is not really a great alternative. I don't mean to moan, and I still do really appreciate what they are doing for us, but it's just pretty hard, and I don't know if its going to get better.

We'll just have to see what happens in the future...

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Last night as soon as I got back to my mums I went round to the next door neighbours, because the girl had her baby! She had it the night after I left two weeks ago! It's a little girl called Imogen, and she is just perfect! I was so excited, because recently I've had the biggest urges to hold a baby. I haven't held a baby for over a year, and even then it wasn't a very small, very young baby. I think being around so many babies in the shop, but not being able to hold them has driven me a bit mad. I think I just wanted to remember what it feels like to hold a baby, so perhaps I can imagine holding my own easier? Strange, I'm going to be holding my own baby.

Anyway, as soon as I got there the dad asked me if I wanted to hold her. So I very cautiously took her and sat down on the sofa with her. She was asleep and stayed asleep the whole time. She has the most perfect little face, with a little mouth and tiny nose...She kept on screwing up her face and yawning in her sleep. Apparently she is a very good baby, and sleeps most of the time and doesn't really cause them that much trouble. I asked about the labour and all things related to that. I can't believe her baby is actually there in real life. It's strange seeing her after just seeing her pregnant, that this tiny little thing came out of her!

Can you tell I'm getting broody?

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I can't believe I only have 3 months left. It seems like a long time to have to wait to meet our baby, but also 3 months is nothing in terms of our lives changing forever. I know it will probably go very quickly, and in no time it will be Christmas, then due date. I'm actually getting very scared now, 3 months is no time at all. Only 3 months left of my being a single independent person, with only having to be responsible and look after myself. Only 3 months left of it being just me and Rob. Soon we are to be a 'family'. Oh god. I'm really scared.

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The good news though is that now that I'm 24 weeks the baby is now what they call viable, which means that if he was to be born now, there is a chance of him surviving, so that's something!

I really want to get things sorted and start buying things like a pram and nursery stuff, because I keep on having dreams about the baby coming early, and not being ready for it. Just have to save up a bit of money first, and ask around from family for donations! (wink wink)

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Right I have to go now, as I have a large amount of snot I need to expel from my face.


3 comments :

  1. Hello Abi. I have a boring temp job at the moment, and so your blog, which Livonia just reminded me of (she wanted to see some belly pictures) serves as a nice time killa now that facebook and downloadable videogames and old copies of the Economist have dried up in their attractiveness. But I'm not JUST killing time. I would also like you to know that you are one of the Cool Kids, and that you always will be, regardless of freaky mutant aliens growing inside your body. Come visit us in london, as already discussed (bring rob if you like), and walk through the orgasmic mass of autumn leaves that is Hamstead Heath with us, the other Cool Kids.

    odd.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ohh I want an invite too! Gonna be in London town a few days over the next couple of months doing training type stuff. Would love to meet up x

    ReplyDelete

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