14 August 2010

Bad dreams

Yesterday was a sad day, I found out that the lovely house I liked has been rented already...boo..
I knew that it would! I hope they have a miserable time in it, whoever dared to rent it.

ohs wells, plenty of other houses right?

...

On other news I've been having more strange preggo dreams. Not very nice ones either.

The first one was last week sometime, and was about me trying to get hold of the midwife. I was on this sort of roof thing, but then there was a bit with lots of beds. Anyway, I was bleeding a bit, and kept on trying to get hold of the midwife on the phone, but couldn't. Then I finally did, but there was loads of other people on the line at the same time, but it was urgent so I just had to talk to her with everyone else listening. She said that because I was bleeding I would have to have an abortion. It was really horrible, and I woke up after that.

The next one was this week I think, and I was in China or somewhere like that, but it was really snowy and cold. We were going to watch the Olympics or some event, and I was in the toilets before going into the stadium. I was with some people I used to know from school, ages ago. When I was in the toilets I noticed that I was bleeding lots again, and realised that I must be having a miscarriage. It was horrible, and I couldn't really tell anyone about it. I just really wanted to go home, but couldn't get a taxi. I can't remember what happened after that.

The last one was recently, the night before last? In my dream I woke up and my mum said "oh you're awake, here's your baby". She pulled it out of a cupboard by its head, and it was all slightly blue and weird looking, and she was shaking it about, trying to make it cry. Then she did, and she gave it to me and I held it. It was really really small. Then I tried to breastfeed it, but I couldn't do it because I hadn't had any classes in it yet, and then I thought that I couldn't do any of it because it was all too early.
After this the baby turned into this really small black bug, and I kept on loosing it, then finding it in my clothes or on my arm...

So those were my not very nice strange dreams, about abortion, miscarriage and premature birth. Perhaps I'm worried about something?

...

I'm going down to Cardiff on Tuesday to meet Rob after his interview, and we are going to look round some other flats and houses, just in case. Then I'm off to Greenman on Thursday, which I am very excited about, and very in need of. It will be nice to have time away from everything, just watching good music, and being with my dearest friends. And hopefully it won't rain!

...

I don't have much to say. Bugs it's been a week since I last did a belly photo...guess I'd better do one of those today. I will post it later.

x

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