06 August 2010

cry baby

Yesterday I cried at work, it was uncontrollable, and lasted for ages, I had to lock myself in the toilet for about 15 minutes.

It wasn't very serious, just a series of events really.

The day started fine, I was in the deli part of the shop, but went over to the cafe to have some toast in the morning, I usually do this, as I eat breakfast about 8, then get hungry about 11 (normal right?)
These two women were working in the cafe, both of who I've worked with before, but I'm not sure whether I've worked with them both together before. Anyway, they sort of said little jokey things about me eating. Also I yawned once and they said "oh tired are we?", I said a bit, then the old lady said "oh I never got tired when I was pregnant". Just little comments that I felt were a bit diggy.

I was having a completely ditzy day, where my brain failed to form sentences properly, and just generally work like it should. At lunchtime I went over to the cafe to help out there because the shop was quiet, and just had a horrible feeling that the two ladies were ganging up on me, and talking about me. At one point the chef accidentally fried an egg wrong and offered it to all of us. I didn't really want it, but one of the ladies said 'Oh Abbi will have it' and practically forced it down my throat.

About an hour after this, I ordered my lunch (which was Salmon, spinach and tomato pasta, very nice) and one of the ladies said, "oh no wonder you are getting a bigger stomach" (she knows I'm pregnant) and the other old lady said "oh eating again are we?". Both comments I ignored but made me feel horrible. After I had finished eating I went to put the plate in the washing up, and was by the bin, when the paper towel holder casing fell open and hit me on the head. It didn't hurt, I think it was just the shock, but that started the tears that had been threatening all day. So i went to the toilet and stayed there until I looked awful, with red puffy eyes and face. Then I spoke to Ros and she was really nice about it, and said I could go home if I liked because it was quiet.

Ros (the boss) is so lovely about all of this, and is really understanding, and always encourages me to eat or have a sit down, but I just felt as thought the other two were just judging me and thinking I was pathetic.

Also I think I'm really sensitive at the moment about my weight. I'm not used to my body being like this, and changing, so when people comment about it, people who I hardly know, it makes me feel bad.

I don't particularly feel like myself at the moment, and I'm finding it hard with clothes and finding things to wear that make me feel like me. I know this sounds silly, but it's quite important to me, and makes me feel strange and a bit down when all of my old clothes look weird on me, or just make me feel fat. Also I was still tired from all the driving I did the day before, also probably a bit emotional about having to leave Rob again, and knowing that I'm not going to see him for another 2 weeks. Also hearing the heartbeat of the baby was quite emotional and not being able to share it with Rob was not very nice. I wish he could have been there.

So all in all just a bit of a hormonal, sensitive day, made worse by two women, probably not intentionally being nasty, but just saying things perhaps they shouldn't of.

But all was well when I got home, I had a nice talk to Mum and Andy about it and felt better. Then we all went swimming, and after went for Wetherspoons curry night...mmm

...

I had work again this morning, and one of the ladies was in, the younger of the two. She asked me if I was ok yesterday, and I explained that some of the things she said were a bit hurtful and that I was sensitive to some things. She was quite nice to me for the rest of the day, which was horribly busy for most of it.

...

Not much else to say really, just thought I would relay all of that for you. Not very interesting!

p.s will do a new clothes post tomorrow! I have a day off!

3 comments :

  1. I have days like this most days and I'm not even preggars. I'm glad you have a lovely job. Chin up, see you next week xxxx

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  2. Ahh what silly old goats! I hate silly old woman I really do...so sad and pathetic on their parts, don't worry its probably just kicked of some weird old haggered longing that they can never forfill hahah!
    Anyway I have been reading some good articles about pregnancy:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/besttreatments/2010/jul/28/no-need-to-eat-for-two-pregnant-women-told

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/24/pregnant-rudeness-birth

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/besttreatments/2010/jul/23/friendly-bacteria-in-pregnancy-may-prevent-eczema-in-childhood

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you my dear sisters!

    i will read those today sarie!

    xxx

    ReplyDelete

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