31 July 2010

Holidaying with nostalgia

hello, I imagine it's about time for some sort of update, as I know you have all been sitting on the edges of your seats for 2 whole days!

I've just got back from work and resting my aching feet! But today I realised that working in the deli part of the shop, where I cut cheese, and serve sausages, and weigh vegetables and fruit (like a real greengrocer) is actually my dream job.

When I was little I used to play shop ALL the time, it was my fave. I used to like collecting objects from various rooms, then pretend to either be the customer, or the shop owner (usually taking it in turns with whoever I was playing with). I have always been obsessed with tills, and I remember this old till we used to have at my aunts big old house, that my grand-dad built, in this amazing play shop in the cellar. Also I remember when my friend Catherine got a calculator which could produce receipts, there was no stopping us after that.

So basically working in the deli is like playing shop for 8 hours, except I get paid, which is awesome. I wish I could work there all the time. Oh plus I get to eat amazing food, like today I had fennel and red pepper soup...mmmmm

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Tomorrow I plan to go to carboot sales around where my mum lives, I have yet to go to one this summer, and as it is August tomorrow, that is fairly bad going! But I'm pretty excited!
Then in the afternoon I'm going to drive to Bristol, to see my loved one (hah) and we are going to go on a date, which I'm also very excited about. We are going to eat some food, then going to go see Inception at the cinema. I will be in Bristol for a few days, then back here for my 16 week checkup with the midwife! (time is moving fast!)

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Today I read an article about camping and it made me think of when I was little and when we used to go on holiday to France every year, and go camping. I loved these holidays. Also I liked it when we used to go in England. I remember one year, me and Sarah got in trouble at a campsite, and we were banned from the games room, because these older children that we were hanging out with, set off the fire extinguisher. They thought it was a foam one and said 'Let's have a foam party', but it was a water one...whoops. (This is a very childhood nostalgia related post)

But for the first time I got excited about going on my own family holidays in the future, and was thinking about the baby not just as a baby for once, but as an actual child. That sounds weird, but because at the moment I only think of it being a baby, and don't imagine it being older really. But when I was thinking about it today, it made me really happy to imagine me with the child. All of this makes me really happy, and I'm so excited for the future and about having a child.

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I guess it's time for some sort of belly size update? I'll also show you my weird belly button?








Stomach pulled in

Stomach relaxed

Stomach pushed out








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So other than this, there is no real news. I'm going to ask the midwife about my headahces on Wednesday, but I did read in one of the books the girl gave about migranes and headaches, and it said, as I expected that its just a side effect of hormones, and should hopefully go away. I haven't had a headache since I was sick, which is good. I'm starting to think the more active I am, the less headaches I get!

au revoir for now!

29 July 2010

Sick as a dog

So, I haven't posted in the last few days because I have been feeling tres terrible!
Since tuesday I've had all day long headaches, and last night they reached their beastly pinnacle, where I woke up at 3 in the morning with the worst headache ever, it felt like my brain was too big for my skull...then after getting a damp flannel for my forehead, I was sick. Just bile and horridness, and a little tiny bit of blood, eek.

I had to go to work in the morning, and was umming and arring about calling in sick, but I didn't want to let them down, as I've only been working there for a few weeks, also I didn't want them to think that I would be always doing this from now on, and being unreliable. But I decided to go in, after taking paracetamol (I even took 2!) and actually felt alright, perhaps keeping myself busy is a good option?

They were really nice about it, as I told them I wasn't 100%, and I got to go home early. I feel really lucky to have this job as it is perfect! Everyone is really lovely, the work is something I've done before, and enjoy, and it's not too much hard work. I like being able to work in the shop and deli part, but also swap and work in the restaurant, especially like today, when it wasn't ridiculously busy. I had more chats with the chefs, who has a year and a half year old boy called Oliver, we were talking about her labour and all things preggo related, it's nice to have someone at work who I can talk to about it all!

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Speaking of talking about pregnancy, yesterday we got a package for the next door neighbours, and when my mum when to drop it round she discovered that the girl next door is pregnant! She is about 6 weeks away from giving birth! So my mum told me and I went round to have a chat. She was really nice, younger than me, only have just finished her A-levels, and had just taken maternity leave from Mcdonalds. This sort of in a way made me feel better about my situation, not that mine is better, but just that I'm glad I'm not that young, and have at least finished my degree, and have had time to travel and do other things like that. But she was really happy and excited, and said that she wouldn't want it any other way. Which is good.

She lent me some pregnancy books, and took me to her room to get them, where she has a little moses basket crib, which was very sweet! She also let me feel her belly, which felt amazing!


Yesterday my mother and I went to Sleaford, the nearest small town to go swimming, but went to the charity shops first. I was just looking for stuff for myself, but somehow, I don't know how, I got pulled in by the force of baby clothes. They were so so sweet, and when I saw the first baby grow for 80p, I couldn't resist!

Then in the next one, my mum disappeared and when I found her she was holding a collection of more very sweet clothes, and so we bought those as well! I know it's quite early, but they were too sweet to not get, and bloody cheap too!

Even though there may be a dominance of blue, this is no way it hinting towards the fact that it's going to be a boy. Blue is my favourite colour, and blue and white stripes are amazing! Plus I don't really want to go in for that whole gender colour thing. Also I want to make people feel awkward in the future by dressing the baby in the opposite colour and hope that people comment saying the wrong gender! hah!





When I got home I lay them on the bed, and it was strange because I could really imagine a baby sized thing wriggling around in them, with little chubby legs and arms, and tiny little hands poking out of them! This sounds a little strange, but it made me really really broody. Like I really wanted a baby, and I wanted it now. Which as Rob said, is pretty good that I've already got one in the oven then.

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This morning, when I was lying in bed, I think I felt something in my stomach, sort of like a little bubble, and then I felt a few more. I wonder if this was le peach squirming about? Exciting anyway!

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Also today I noticed strange goings on with my belly-button, it seems to be changing, and perhaps starting to begin to stick out? Weird!

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Anyway, I'm hoping that these headaches really do go away soon, as the last couple of days have been unbearable!


Oh and p.s I'm 15 weeks today !

27 July 2010

Deux

I thought I would do something semi-constructive today and at least write a blog post. Not that it's going to be in any way interesting.

I've had a horrid headache all day (again, again) and so have been in bed doing not much at all. I have this horrible thing that because there is tv around, I watch it, and have even, I don't know if I can say this, been watching Big Brother a little bit...shameful I know. But remember the days when watching it wasn't shameful? Like series one and three?

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Anyway, I've been having this strange thought recently that I find it fascinating that at this present time there are two heart beats happening in my body at once. And two brains, and two sets of lungs, etc. It's such a weird thought (perhaps only to myself) that there is something that is completely different and separate from me, that is working all by itself, living and growing inside of me. Not exactly the most ground-breaking revelation, but I find it quite amazing!

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Me and my mum were in Sainsburys yesterday and we accidentally walked down the baby clothes aisle, then we got distracted by the very very sweet baby clothes, oh dear.

She says that she would like it if it was a boy, for something different, I guess because she only had girls. But I just don't know, I never think of 'it' as a boy, but we shall see! (That also doesn't mean to say that my mum would be disappointed if it was a girl!)

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Anyway not much else to say really. Just that perhaps it's sort of hitting home a little bit more than it was before, and that this is really happening...

(ahh)

24 July 2010

Bedtime Stories

Oh no, my headaches are back. Back with spite, like they are trying to make me pay for the few days I had off. The bastards.

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My mother returned this evening, with arms loaded with shopping bags full of food, and some clothes for me from Maderia (where she has been residing for the last month) She couldn't get over the size of my stomach, and was poking it, I guess I must have grown quite a bit in a month.

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I had my usual evening bath, and continued reading the Time Travellers Wife, because this is the second time around, I know what's going to happen, which means the tears come earlier. I feel a little weird sitting in the bath, with tears running down my face, which occasionally make me sob, but it's ok, at least there are other people in the house now.

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But it made me miss Rob, and I'm writing this for him. Because apparently he likes reading it.

All I ask in return is a bedtime skype story, to send me off to sleep. This is a little thing that we have set up. I ask Rob to read my a story, he asks what type, I always answer, "A nice one"

So he finds one on the internet, I get myself in a comfortable position, and he starts to read. I usually fall asleep within about 2 minutes, and don't remember any of the story. I then wake up and find my computer still on, after Rob has noticed I'm asleep and says goodnight and hangs up.

The next time we talk I try and remember the story, parts of which get tangled up in my dreams, and are usually nowhere near what the story is actually about.

One day I hope that I will be able to read, or listen to these stories fully. One day.

I could do with a story now. A nice one.

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I'm going now, probably to sleep, where I'm going to enjoy these moments when I can still just about sleep on my front. I LOVE sleeping on my front, and infact can not sleep in any other position. So, when I eventually get too big for sleeping on my front, I am going to have to learn how to go to sleep again. Not something I am looking forward to, I might add.

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23 July 2010

Avocado

Hello!

So word is gradually spreading around, my aunty and uncle and cousins now know, as I told my grandma the other day, who was, much to my suprise, very ok with it all. She was very sweet and supportive about it, and we chatted about her pregnancies.

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I also told the people at work today, which was a relief, because now I can take breaks, and eat food without them thinking I'm being lazy, and they will also understand why I keep on getting fatter! They were all very nice about it!
For lunch I had a prawn and avocado wrap...ummm...

This evening I felt less tired and inspired after my horrid dinner of beans and cheese on toast last night, that I made in my half asleep dreamwalk.

Tonight I made a grilled Halloumi quinoa salad, with potato wedges...yummers!


In other news, not that there is any, I got a letter from the hospital telling me my second, and potentially last (eep) scan will be on the 2nd of September, I also booked my next midwife appointment for a few weeks, when I will be 16 weeks, 4 months, 4 months out of 9..that's quite scary.

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I thought I would share with you how I was looking a week later, and took photos of my post bath, evening bloated belly. It seems as the day goes on my stomach grows bigger, so I look bigger than I actually may be. I'm not sure whether I'm still bloated, but its solid stuff my stomach!

A new dress that I bought from H&M, it's all floaty and loose, and very comfy!

My post bath, pyjama-ed, bloated belly

Not so big, with my stomach pulled in


Whaling, letting it all hang out


It's back to the farm shop for me tomorrow morning, where I drool over lots of different types of Stilton, brie, goats cheese and other lovely cheese that I can't eat...god damn it.

So, I bid you good night!

p.s In other non-preggers news, I got a letter yesterday saying that this gallery/ arts centre wants me to exhibit my photographs of hands in their group exhibition in Wales, which is good!
http://abigailemilyoliver.blogspot.com/

22 July 2010

September, September

I feel tired, oh so very tired.

I wish that Rob was here in this big lonely house. So that I can drive to the shop in my pyjamas with messy hair, and he can go and get the shopping, including fox's crunch cream biscuits, whilst I stay put.

I wish that he would make us dinner, and then I would do the washing up.

I wish that I could have eaten ravioli on toast for dinner, but I had to settle with half a can of beans instead.

But most of all I wish that we could watch the baby swim around again, and Rob could hold my hand and be smiling. But we have to wait until September.

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My mother returns back from holiday on Saturday, so I will have some company.
I really hate going to sleep by myself here.

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My old friend evening tension headaches and mini migraines seems to have gone away for a while, I'm just waiting for the all consuming tiredness to stop.

.

Oh, and I'm 14 weeks today!

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My bath awaits me, and I do not want to keep it waiting..

Good Night!

21 July 2010

Bébé




Abigail meets the future

SO, so, so.

Yesterday, I met with the peachy thing growing inside of me. There was something there after all, complete with little legs, arms and a big head. And a heartbeat.

I was suprised that the nurse doing the scan just matter of factually showed me the screen with the baby on it, pointing it out.

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It was being naughty and keep on doing flips and not being the right place. I liked that it was naughty.

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It was dreamy and mesmerising watching this human thing swim around, and I couldn't stop smiling.

17 July 2010

An introduction, of sorts

Oh hello.

My name is Abigail, I am 23 years old, and I'm 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

The story is, is that me and my boyfriend, Rob, have been together for just over 3 months, which means, we have pretty much been pregnant the whole time we have been together.

Rob is 21, and we have both just finished University.

So ideally, probably not the best time or situation to decide to have a family together.

I think we have both gone mad, but I also know that deep down this feels like the right thing to do, and my heart has already grown with so much love for this little peach sized thing growing inside of me.

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When we found out, we talked and talked about it, and each time this feeling of secretly knowing that we wanted to keep it, grew. Until finally we admitted it to ourselves, and each other, that actually even though timing is not great, financial situation is dire, and the fact that we have not been together very long, we both really want this. With the feeling of support from our families we discovered that actually it could all be ok.

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It's been about 2 months since we found out, and since then we have been separated by the distance of our family homes, him in Bristol, me at my mothers in Lincolnshire.
Rob has visited a few times, both at my mums and my dads, and is slowly being introduced to my family and friends.

We hope that in September, Rob will have successfully got his place and job on the Clinical Photography course at Cardiff hospital, where we shall move and hopefully find a lovely flat together.

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The first time I felt that this was actually happening, was when I went swimming by myself. But it did not feel as though I was by myself, and as I was slowly doing my lengths, I imagined the peach swimming around too.

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Next week, on Tuesday, we have our very first scan. This is something that I have been waiting for, for a very long time. I need it to be confirmed, that this is all real, and that I'm not having strange mood swings, interesting dreams, extreme tiredness and ever growing boobies for nothing.

So stay tuned for hopefully a scan picture soon!

p.s here are some photos of my stomach, you know, to show progress and that..

one: stomach pulled in
two: stomach relaxing



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